Veg for thought

I have been a vegetarian for as long as I can remember and the main cause being..... you guessed it, my parents were vegetarians! When I started working (and thus came in contact with the professional world), I discovered a very startling fact – vegetarianism was no longer a religion; from something that you HAD to be followed, it had boiled down to something that COULD be followed…..simply put, a choice. For most of my veg (er.... I use this term literally, of course, and NOT figuratively!) colleagues, surreptitiously eating non-veg, away from the omniscient eyes of their elders became a way of life. And going abroad expanded the options for the non-veg fare while at the same time reducing the risk of ‘exposure’.


When I was leaving for UK, the uppermost concern for my extended family (I call them extended because after all, they too have played a major part in my upbringing) was that of food, and specifically vegetarian food, or the lack of it. "You are going all the way to some other country. What would you do for ooTatinDi?" This was the most common question thrown at me. Till date, I cannot recall the answer I gave. All I can remember is being in a tearing hurry to pack all my stuff and then fretting about exceeding the weight limit!


Scotland, UK had a pleasant surprise in store - the place had a few grocery stores in some nooks and corners that sold Indian commodities. Step into that store and it was almost like our pakkada mane grocery store except for the cleanliness part. So you see, the only reason I lost weight abroad was due to stress and not due to lack of food - I still remember (and can almost taste) those booootiful deep-fried veggie burgers! Leep-smacking stuff !


Even though CN, one of my two room-mates was a non-vegetarian, she was so mindful of us (vegetarians) that she did not cook any non-veg stuff at home. Instead, we ended up going to restaurants which served both veg and non-veg food. Back in India, I would have gone to a restaurant which served both veg and non-veg food only because of two reasons: one, I did not find a decent veg restaurant and two, there was some yummy veg specialty which was unique to that restaurant. I had faint trepidations because I had endured some unpleasant situations on the likes of the following.


Imagine you, along with your non-veg friends, are at a popular fast-food joint with mouth-watering burgers on the menu. Imagine that in spite of you ordering a meatless burger, you discover the presence of meat. And imagine if the waiter just whisks off the meat patty and plops down the same burger with the cheery words, “There you go, no meat now.” Would that be acceptable to you?


Here’s another situation: Imagine you go to a multi-cuisine place and order a soup after repeatedly verifying with the lady that it’s vegetarian. Imagine your dismay when you discover pieces of fish in the soup. On enquiry, the lady innocently replies, “But fish is vegetarian, no?”


Imagine one of your friends casually dips a ladle used for spooning a non-vegetarian dish into the one and only vegetarian dish ordered for yours truly. After this, would you consider helping yourself to some more of that veg dish?


One of the fears passed down to me from the upper echelons (aka previous generation) was the lack of hygiene in restaurants which served both veg and non-veg food, “What if they used the same utensils for cooking both varieties of food?” Later on, this among a host of other passed-down fears was conveniently side-lined with the belief that the management respected vegetarians sufficiently to use separate cooking gear, and not mix them up. However, this belief was put to test with the McDonald’s suit. On a personal note, one of my friends who was working part-time at a burger joint to support her education revealed that the same frying pan/grill was used to cook both veg and non-veg stuff! So where does this leave vegetarians? At ‘sea’, strictly sticking to home-made food.


There are times I feel that the whole idea of vegetarianism is skewed with people mutating the meaning to their advantage (and profits!). “Bread contains enzymes that are non-veg.” “What about gelatin in ice-cream?” The more one examines things under the microscope, the more confused one would be. “If chicken comes from egg, there’s no way that egg is vegetarian” says one of my friends who’s been trying to prove that I am, thus, an non vegetarian and ‘licensed’ to eat other non-veg food. It has to be revealed that she’s been trying to coerce me into becoming a non-vegetarian for almost an year now :-). Thankfully, for people like me, the“I-don’t-eat-eggs-directly-but-then-eat-cakes-with-eggs-in-them” variety, this article comes as a welcome relief :-)!


Vegetarianism for me remains a practice, and I am at an age where I can safely vouch for my practices. I like to experiment more with new habits rather than steady practices which have benefited me till date. My friends’ circle consists of mature people who not only respect me but also my choice of vegetarianism, and go out of their way to make me feel comfortable amidst them (aaah….bless these guys!). Belonging to the minority group is definitely a minus point with me being on the tenterhooks all the time in any restaurant that serves both veg and non veg food, or with blokes who don't understand where I from. Yet,I feel confident to proclaim that I am a vegetarian. Are you ;-)?

Love and Marriage

Love actually revolves around various couples and the ways they perceive and finally find love…..or something remotely similar. When I sat down to watch this movie, I was not prepared for the intricacy and subtlety of the plot, and of course, the various perceptions of love. At the end, I could have relegated it to another feel-good movie were it not for certain strains of reality and maturity depicted in the movie.


I’ve known love to be a very elusive quality, something very similar to luck. If one needs it, and even wishes for it hard, there’s certainly no genie appearing from the lamp to grant it to you on a platter. At the same time, all I know is if one knows where to find it, one can hold on to it….. forever. And oh, the channels to discover love, so many and varied. Through people, animals, work, a favourite pastime, eating (my personal fav)….. you can add on to the list.


Our very idea of love and romance is so much influenced by movies and books (Mills and Boon anyone?). Love at first sight, the thudding of heart, the shortage breath, and oh….how can I forget the song in the heart (not to mention the song and dance routine around the trees :D)! Makes one go sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. doesn’t they? But(there's always a 'but' at the end of the rainbow)....is love like this?


I’ve met people who’ve claimed to be influenced by all these factors and….and sometimes more :-). Dreamy eyes, lost expressions, countless hours on phone (make that mobile)…. yesssirraaah…. me see-eth all. It’s at this point where the movie ends with “They happily lived ever after” idea. And it’s at this stage that their hunky-dory world is bombarded with the harsh realities of the world around them. What happens later? Aaaah well…. no-one’s shown it…… yet.


I’ve been asked, discreetly of course, by most people - how is it that you marry a person whom you’ve never known more than a couple of months? And I counter-question – how is it that people get divorced in spite of knowing each other for more than a couple of months, and sometimes years together? Ultimately, marriage is a gamble – you enter this legal contract with the intention of making it work, and not knowing that it does have another door of escape called the dreaded D. And what does love have to do with marriage? Well….. if one can learn what love is through commitment, marriage plays a crucial part. For all those shaking your heads knowingly, you know what I’m talking about.


Sharing every thought under the sun , learning things together, exploring, fighting and making up, getting hurt, laughing loud at silly jokes, enjoying the simple pleasures of life,complementing each other, creating and nurturing the miracle of life, and falling in love all over again.....perhaps this is a form of commitment.....perhaps it's here to stay.....perhaps it's called marriage. The turnaround is complete.

This and that

My niece, S, is one precocious little two-year old. She, along with her father (note the order) had graced to have dinner with us. When it was time to say good-bye, she bugged her father to hoist her up. Seeing this, we were unable to resist making fun of her. “Abba S, you are a big girl now. Why can’t you walk by yourself?” Smart kid instantly retorted, “Chappali illa.” Delicate darling that she was, she did not want to walk without her chappals :-)! Needless to say, we were dumbfounded by this response from someone so young!

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I love water bodies. I love clicking water-bodies. I love frolicking in water-bodies. What I don’t love is drowning in them!(Well......for that matter, who does?) PA’s been trying to teach me to swim. For every step (or rather lap) of progress, I hop/swim back two thanks to the fear of drowning. And the pool’s supposed to be only four feet. Sheeeesh! And moi's height being a little more than five feet is hardly any consolation. Double sheeeesssh! Still, the optimist in me tries to make the best of the situation by..... hopping up and down in water! The feeling of being buoyant comes into effect even if the act does make me look like a hoppitty bunny!

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What’s it with crowd dynamics? Everything I suppose. I’ve often observed that most people follow the lead of majority without even the benefit of doubt. There could be two reasons for that - first, one couldn't care less about the topic in question, second, it's easier to adopt or follow a popular opinion rather than pondering in detail about that topic. But what if the opinion is about a person or the character of a person? I find it very interesting how a person's character is ripped to shreds or conversely glorified out of proportion based simply on crowd dynamics. If a majority of people think that a person's up to no good, it's very likely that a newcomer to this group would simply go along with the flow provided he/she does not have any stakes (read as involvement) involved. Wham-bham and there goes everything down the drain. So what if the crowd is mistaken? It's after all only a person's character, right? As long as you don't have to do anything with that person, lage raho......


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There's so much discussion going about the topic of effective communication. Most educational institutions stress upon the right usage of words and their meaning, grammar of sentences, and how effectively one can communicate using the written language. Ironically, I find that people who have absolutely no grasp of the grammatical intonations of English can still manage to communicate effectively not only through calls but by mails as well. How? By simplicity rather than any fanciful bombastic words. How much more direct does "I would need this done by tomorrow morning by 11:00 a.m." sound than "It would be great if you could get this done sometime by tomorrow". Precise, concise and yes, effective. So what if the grammar's a wee bit flawed?

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I am not a 'sweet(s)' person [:P]. I like certain sweets but I can have them in very limited quantities. Two and I would be done, my throat muscles simply refusing to welcome the third. Still, I do find this very appetizing. Don't you? Sssssslllllluuuuurrrp! Stimulate your taste-buds :D!

"To Sir With love"

When I joined my first job, I still had the school-girlish tendency to expect guidance and spoon-feeding. Very quickly, I was ‘taught’ to expect otherwise. I learnt the hard way to anticipate and keep myself abreast of most things. One had to ask in order to learn. Very rarely did people ‘teach’. Still, a few odd things impressed me – words like “You respect my time and I’ll respect yours” by an instructor to a couple of people late for her class, “It’s those small things which can topple your effort. So make sure you tie up those itsy-bitsy loose ends first before focusing on the bigger issues,” by my very sage instructor who trained me during my first job, “A lazy employee is like a family black sheep” by a former project manager.


It’s startling how I remember most the things taught during my school times. Basic concepts of Geometry and Algebra (no Arithmetic though :-(....), how to write essays, how to make primary, secondary and tertiary colours, photosynthesis, plant and animal cells, staple food of North and South India, so on and so forth. However, the memory of my PU and Engineering days are loaded with blanks. And the conclusion I could draw was – either I was very studious during my school-days or the teachers were very diligent in their job. Considering the fact that I was an above average student (ahem-ahem!), the latter conclusion makes more sense.


Most of school life was interspersed with teachers who make the most boring subjects interesting. I still remember my primary school Science teacher who used to conduct experiments in the class in order to demonstrate a few aspects such as gravity, suction, capillary motion etc. I can still recall the excitement with which we used to await his class, and the effortless pin-drop silence that ensued during his experiments. And he did not even have to raise his voice for that :-)!


Then again, there were teachers who were so encouraging (and understanding) about one’s mistakes (at homework or otherwise), that one could only be compelled to learn from the mistakes and perform better. My English teacher was one such gem of a person who never reprimanded a student in rough language, and treated us as responsible kids rather than ‘simply students who had to be taught a lesson”. And so was my Sanskrit teacher who patiently taught us this completely new language of which we had no clue at all. This explains why I still remember the (dreaded) shabdas in Sanskrit :P!


As I progressed to the upper echelons of education, I encountered teachers who taught only for the sake of teaching, who viewed us merely as ‘undisciplined brutes’ and treated us as such, and who cut us to the core in public by their caustic remarks. I can only ponder about my lack of interest in studies – was I so unmotivated by my teachers so as not to understand the subjects, or was it plain disinterest, or were the subjects themselves too ‘heavy’ to be completely understood? My safest bet is that it’s a combination of all three.


It's been quite some time since I've posted something worthwhile. My apologies to my readers :-)! I've been preoccupied by a variety of tasks, incongruously insignificant, yet occupying quality time and adding up to a huge chunk in my day-to-day life. And every reflection-at-the-end-of-the-day leaves me wondering “What on the earth did I do today?” only to be reminded of the sage words of my instructor – small tasks are indeed preoccupying! Truer words were never remembered this often :-)!

What a complex web we weave

I’ve always wondered what bonds the complicated creatures of mankind namely the women. Is it talking for hours together (especially over the phone), gossiping, giggling over secrets, hoo-haaing over something trivial, ‘discussing’ recipes so on and so forth? Well…... I guess it’s all because I do not seem to possess any of those ‘fine’ qualities. And that alone brands me as an ‘outcast’ :-).


I’ve always been attracted towards intelligence….of any form. I like people who can hold a honest (a slowly dying trait) conversation about any subject under the sun without any prejudice. My girl-friends, even the blogs I follow (on Google Reader :-)...), in one way or the other, reflect the same. True, with time, we have bonded closely on a personal level. However, at the first instance, there’s this spark of honesty and intelligence which has been surefire turn-ons for me :-).


There’s RS whose blogs I read regularly. They are such a fine mix of level-headedness and intelligence that I was completely hooked (a rare feat I assure you). I don’t remember exactly how our correspondence started but it did….and with a bang! We even met up (our offices being close) and have kept in touch for….. (hold your breath) almost an year.


Then there’s NJ who has been a common friend through Jay. SA whom I’ve known since the start of my professional career. KA whom I had never interacted at work but got in touch later. So on and so forth. There has been a trait so compelling, so integral in all these ladies that had reassured me back then, and still continues to….in spite of the distance separating us.


But I have to confess that I am a big failure in forging relationships under force, or if I get nasty feelers from others. And (some) women seem to be so adept in this particular aspect :-|! I can good-humouredly tolerate rebukes. I can forgive taunts treating them as childish behaviour. However, at one point, I simply zonk out not caring about them at all. I marvel at people who can get along with people who spite them in the face. The penultimate peoples' person. Maybe it’s because of want. Maybe it’s because of need. Maybe they are mature beyond their years. The only thing I’ve learnt from such experiences is that each relationship requires a combination honesty, respect and time from both sides to nurture lastingly. A one-sided effort consumes energy and, with passing time, it simply drains away.


To digress, as kids it's so easy to make friends. All you need is a peace-loving play-mate :-). With passing age, developing personalities impede. And finally as adults (hoo-boy...I make it sound like the end of the world!), it becomes so very difficult to forge friendship of the lasting variety, thanks to already formed (and sowed) thoughts and opinions. Common interests are a must to 'keep-in-touch'. And for some, status in the society as well. When was the last time you liked somebody for what they were? And because they brought to the surface a different 'you'.....and a better one at that? If you did, do not let them go.


To all my girl-friends out there, thanks for being such an integral part of my life. I wish I could express how much. I hope that this does.

Chitraaz commandments

• Life passes in circles - you get back what you give......good or bad......and sometimes exponentially.

• You tend to learn not only from your mistakes but from others' as well.

• A person who respects your time is worth your time.

• If you can assess a person at a glance, you are experienced. If you can put yourself in others' shoes, you are sensible. If your mind scores over your heart, you are realistic. If you can bid for time, you are patient. If you have all these qualities, you are mature.

• With passing time, the bar is raised for both good and bad.

• The past shapes the present. The present shapes the future. The past cannot be changed. But the future can.

• The acts of love are otherwise compromises done selflessly.

• Marriage is like a jig-saw puzzle - there should be at least some compatibility between the pieces before time can fill up the gaps.

• Pretence is very hard to keep up and if it slips, disillusionment creeps in.

• Confidence and self-doubts are mutually exclusive.

• If only love can be proved by mere words.......

• A perfect relationship is one where in communication steps in from where attraction trails off.
  

Darn these emotions.......

Newton is a great man for having discovered the Laws of Motion, of which the most all-purpose-quoted is the third one "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction". And the same goes for emotions - for every emotion there's an equal and corresponding (not always opposite, mind you) emotion.


These emotions! Baaaah! How difficult it can be to express them...! The first emotion that comes to mind is aamchi looooouuuuuurrrve (okie NJ.... I hope I kindle fond memories..... and you can stop laughing now :D)!


But have you ever realized that it's even more difficult to control expressing emotions rather than outright expressing them? Once expressed (hopefully in the right fashion), the deed is done. Blessed phew.... er.....I mean relief! Out of the system.....out of mind.....balance is restored in nature and self.


Think of the converse. Like a worm gnawing away slowly on the insides, a thought ricocheting within the mind can be so distracting that one would be torn between expressing it and facing the consequences rather than hiding it.


The universe functions on a principle of balance...... an sense of equality. This is extended to all beings, from the smallest to the largest, from the tiny to the intelligent, from animals to humans. And we, being the most complicated of beings ((no) thanks to these emotions again!) maintain this balance in our own unique ways. We earn money only to spend them. We eat food to produce energy. We work throughout the day to sleep during night. In the same vein, we are receptive to emotions as well. We understand, comprehend and assimilate emotions in an individualistic manner. Ultimately, once an outlet is found, equilibrium is restored. Peace reigns within the being.


While some of us are mature enough to recognize the volatile ones and accordingly think of a safe outlet, others express them in the form of violence, anger, destruction, harsh words, jealousy ....so on and so forth goes the list of negativities. The end result is the same, except for the fact that the negative emotions let forth in a negative manner would have induced a chain reaction in others. Pity......a lack of forethought......and a whole maelstrom of emotions.....


Expressing emotions.......I think it's an art. Sometimes harsh, sometimes gentle......sometimes spontaneous, sometimes planned.........sometimes so near the surface, sometimes so deeply buried that it's forgotten. Perhaps expressing them requires finesse......or perhaps not......because anything that is thoroughly practiced is no longer emotional.


p.s And that's why we have songs......all for expressing emotions in a musical way :-)! Perhaps this and this say it all....... :-)!

Actions or words......

......which is louder, to express one's emotions?

Random thoughts of a busy mind

Ever heard of this “Two parallel lines never meet”. Chitraaz corollary states that “Two things in parallel planes are made to meet by the means of (yuxtremely silly!) comparisons”. Like the way people take in the brilliant hues of a real flower and exclaim, “Is it real? It almost looks plastic.” Geez…! It is almost similar to comparing ghar ka khaana with hotel food. You got my point na?

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I spent five minutes pondering (mind you, not agonizing) over what ear-rings to wear for work today. I had a pair of long shoulder-touching hangings which went extremely well with the dress. However, the ear-rings had “Not for office wear” written all over them! I removed them, contemplated by bare-eared image in the mirror, dug further into the box and came up with a relatively less-lengthpair of earrings.... the one at the yuxtreme left. To my surprise, compliments poured in for the same :-) ! Hmmmm….looks like my tomboy's dying a slow death. And I have mixed feelings regarding the loss……

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This week greeted me with a big pimple sprouting on my left cheekbone…..so big (and ugly) that it caught the attention of most of my female colleagues (oh well…. the males have work to worry about, don’t they?), and got them talking about the myth centered around the origin of pimples. According to them (ahem), I have been ‘blessed’ with a pimple because someone (apparently!) has a crush one me. Please note that it is not vice-versa. All I am hoping (in my free time, of course) is that the crush-bearing person should be a guy….. and a handsome one at that, so that he could have a pimple or two (at my expense) ;-)!

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If a two plus hour movie makes me all fidgety, a two plus hour bus-ride makes me all tired. Throw in lack of light (to read a book) and lack of food, I transmogrify into a angry young woman! To avoid scorching the bus (and thus saving the junta), I picked up sweet corn soup along with a fruit platter on my way back home today. The soup was not that thick. But it was peppery, oniony and corny (forgive the pun!). And hot. So hot that I was worried as to how to prevent it from spilling all over me during the bumpy parts of the ride. Hah.......day one successful. Looking forward to day two……. :-).

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I am at a loss to deal with an issue which I should have given attention long time back (in fact, several years). Thanks to my repeated ignorance, it has now grown to a full-fledged problem, emotional connections complicating it all the more. And I am at a loss how to deal with it. I have cracked my skull open (and spilled my brains all over my work-desk as well....something which I rarely do) but the solution is not at all in sight :-(. It is one of the (few) times I feel like relying on my age-old friends – time.... and hope.

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Could anyone clarify what ‘taken for granted’ means? How easy/difficult it is to take someone for granted? What are the warning signs? And how early/ late does a relationship get affected by this ‘taken for granted’ status?

If I compare thee.......

I had this thought simmering in my subconscious for quite some time. A vague thought. The spark of happiness when I thought "Hey... here's someone I like". Something very familiar, but could not put my finger on.


I was speaking to AH, who has recently gone through a very rough phase, having lost her seven month baby. Whenever I call her, I try to keep the conversation impersonal, with most topics revolving around some witticism I had witnessed, or my hilarious photo sessions ( I should surely write a post on this :-).......). Something light. Something airy. And the few times the conversations veer to something akin to self-condemnation, I used to veer her back to some silly topic.


The intention was not to get AH involved in any self-pitying mode. It is so very difficult to get out of this mode without anyone's help, and I was not sure I could actually help her out in this case if she had plunged into one of those moods. Why? Because as much as I tried, I could only offer my empathies, but not pity. Because, had I been her, I would have surely detested it!


Nothing but Aham only with respect to others but self as well.


The greatest yardstick to self, in terms of comparison, is nothing but self.


p.s: Profound realization brought about by PA..... :-)!

Love is......

Sitting through a (entire!) match of cricket just to give him company in spite of not being a fan of the game.

Changing the baby’s (yuxtremely dirty) diaper, thus allowing your partner to catch up on some much needed rest (and beauty sleep, of course).

Surprising her with flowers on reaching home from work even if you don’t give a damn about flowery stuff.

Staying back home to cook his favorites when you could have danced attendance at a kitty party.

Coming home to find dinner ready with all the after-work done......no dirty dishes in the sink, no mess to clean up, and most importantly no immediate-after-work-at-home responsibilities.

Switching off TV when you need to talk something important.

Massaging sore feet in the middle of night just because she’s too far gone to reach her toes, or too tired to care about herself.

Nodding your head sagely at every pause in the (one-way?) conversation even if you don’t understand a word of the prattle.

Finding yourself covered by a warm blanket when you had fallen asleep on the couch during one of those winter nights.

Offering a shoulder to cry when you feel like throwing up your hands in despair yourself.

To feel protective (and possessive) towards that special someone.

A bit of care, a bit of chemistry.

A dash of romance, a measure of practicality.

Some meaningful gestures, some more meaningful silences.

Perhaps..... love is not about one single day, or saying the right words after all......

Gratitude...for sale

The year was 1970 when she joined work for a supposedly paltry sum of Rs.100. A big sum during those days. But that was barely enough to manage a family of 10 siblings, none of whom were of the earning age. She could have pursued higher studies if not for shouldering the responsibility of running the household and educating her siblings. It was during those non pizza-burger days where even bare necessities like sambhar were considered a delicacy, thanks to the ‘high’ price of coconut (a whole 15 paisa!).


And thus, 37 years passed by.


37 years.


A period full of sacrifices and compromises.


And she was thanked with a beLLi taTTe and loTa by her colleagues for being with them 37 years.


Too less a gratitude? Well…... That’s what she has been subjected to all her life. She is not complaining at all.


I wish I could divulge how much ….... just how much she had to strive during those years. To achieve a semblance of respect in the society, she being the sole bread-winner of the family. To face the rejection and disapproval of relatives because she was a class apart in a society which respects only the section where the man of the house is in command. Driven by need and desperation, she dared….(and how) to challenge the norm prevalent in those days. To overcome the stigma of being the only working parent. To make ends meet for a family of eleven. To educate her siblings so that they could enjoy the comforts of life which was denied to her. To bring her up her children in the cocoon of comfort and security which she had dreamt for herself.


People, being people, sneered, jeered, laughed, pointed fingers at her. And she had nothing but her pride to sustain her. And her single-minded devotion…….


And now, here she stands, at this point in her life, satisfied yet embittered, to reap the rewards which she had earlier sown.


It was she who taught me that respect, like money and trust, has to be earned.....the hard way.


Here’s wishing SMV luck….. and the much-desired peace.


Is anyone up there listening to my plea?

A place called home

Often I have pondered about the reasons for being unsettled even when everything is fine. A good job. Ideal spouse. Reliable friends. A comfortable house. Hmmm....house....? Shouldn't it be home?


If manners make a man, then it is left to the very men to build something called a home. A haven. Something which is the abode of peace. Not necessarily joy......but something more lasting - contentment. A person who looks forward to coming to a place called home would be definitely on the right track to be happy in his life.


There have been many books regarding achieving that undefined goal of contentment.....of peace. But life has been a more than willing teacher for me. In bits and pieces, painstakingly put together by the Maker, the journey called life has now reached a curve beyond which I am not able to foresee.


However, time has finally found a way to answer one question which has been elusive in spite of my repeated soul-searching. Eight months......a long time indeed. Or perhaps, not..... considering how familiarity rocks :-)!

Sometimes.......

........you would have to go back a step or two to allow someone to advance a step or two......towards yourself.

From the (superior?) vantage point of a yet-to-be-married (read as yet-to-be-settled, yet-to-be-tied-down, yet-to-be-committed-for-life – take your pick) individual, I find the mock fights of couples endearing, and their children even more :-) ! However, if events translate to a real one, the root-cause-analysis (geez…. I am being so techy) reason is so silly that, in the case of close friends, I feel like stamping my foot down and shouting, ‘Folks, don’t be so downright stupid’. But alas, I cannot do that......simply because I am not ‘experienced’ enough in matters of h(ea/)urt.

Ego….. the biggest cause….. followed by immaturity of not accepting one’s fault. What more could one want to kick oneself on the leg…… and that too hard? Sigh…. !

There’s nothing as contenting in life as having a partner who would match you…. step for step. While it’s too much to expect the best, it’s not impractical to accept the second best. However, is this to be touted as a compromise on one’s part? What’s the use of beginning a new life with the word ‘compromise’ in air when there could be a lot more in store for the future?

Aham.....

"Meetings, bug-fixes, incorporating review comments, more meetings, more fixes, more comments. To add to it, ward off all those 'political remarks' with diplomatic finesse. Quick lunch at desk. And more meetings. Phew! It's been a long day indeed. And it's still has not ended. Have to go home and cook! I barely have time for myself these days," was how a colleague of mine was lamenting the other day.


Though distracted (well..... I do get a bit spaced out by constant cribs), my attention was caught by the last sentence - "I barely have time for myself". That, I felt, was the crux of the delivered litany.


"No time for myself......."


We live, we work, we play, we earn, we marry, we raise kids, we 'enjoy', we get bogged down by the sundries in life, and finally we die. And in the process, we have no time to do what we did as kids.... have time for ourselves.


It's not akin to being without company. It's not being alone yearning for someone. It's a matter of quiet introspection, all yours. It could be anywhere, even in a crowd. And it's a time where you are completely comfortable with just yourself as a company.....and no one else.


We, human beings, are social creatures. We are afraid of being alone.....of dying alone. We earn for company, for comfort thorough relationships, sometimes temporary .....and sometimes permanent. In this process, we fail to devote some time to the elemental process of self-development.... by spending time with ourselves.



Ever censured or got hurt by someone? Has the thought ever crossed that indirectly, you are comparing those actions to yourself? How mature are you in gauging yourself, knowing yourself and setting your own expectations, before you do the same for others? And foolish creatures that we are, we point out mistakes of others, not knowing our own.


Self...... not selfish......


After all, everything starts with self........and everything ends with self.

Thorns .......or Roses

Time ..........or Money


Heart ..........or Mind


Body ..........or Soul


Career ..........or Family


Acceptance ..........or Fantasy


Romance ..........or Reality


Space ..........or Commitment


Duty ..........or Obligation


Rules ..........or Choices


Hope ..........or Helplessness


Pride ..........or Need


Passion........ or reason


I .......... or We


Life need not be a compromise all the time.........

First things first.....

A trip abroad.......

An international flight (but of course da :-)....)......

A tryst with Frankfurt.....

Recurring experiences with calling cards......and electric stove.....

All alone in my life spanning a quarter century and more.......and I do mean alone......

Sharing space for an indefinite period with people other than family and friends .....

Relationship management with room-mates......

Full-time cooking .....

Roaming in a alien country.....alone..... for the first time......

No tiring after-work journey back home .....

Chilling/numbing sensation thanks to all-low single-digit temperature......

Getting used to complete strangers throwing a smile or a kind word to me....

There's a first...... for everything....for everyone....including moi.

p.s. Some points have not been listed for the sake of (my) discretion ;-) !!!

Choice -> Decision

Post the Cauvery verdict, my onsite manager – a Tamizhian – came up to me and asked whether I hated all Tamizhians.


I just stared at him for a few seconds wondering how on the earth a person so senior in position could ask such a question.... and how could I make my answer diplomatic. It was almost like waving a red flag before a bull – too controversial a topic to discuss in a professional environment. In the end, I just stated, totally deadpan, "Any particular reason?"


Geez......... !!!


Maturity, unfortunately, does not come with age!


So what exactly is maturity?

To have perception of what’s wrong and right? And to choose accordingly?


Where does this perception come from?

From our upbringing..... and what we learn from the environment around?


Who’s responsible for our upbringing?

A select group comprising our parents, peers, relatives, elders etc?


Though our Sanskaar is the foundation of our decision-making, the right to choose is completely ours.


The decision is all ours........

Happier days ahead(?)

God has been really kind to me for the last couple of weeks.

I have been at the receiving end of surprises comprising of the pleasanter variety.....and some of those improbable types.....the ones which I had given up hoping for. Well.....seems that I stopped hoping too early. Yipppeeee.....good for me :-)!

Call it pessimistic but I have started sending out feelers for happiness with a sense of caution. Maybe it’s people.....or maybe it’s the experience, which’s proved to be the teacher. But something has to be said about my (unnatural?) calm while dealing with the vagaries of life. The calm before the storm? Hmmmm.....only time can tell.......

Oh btw..... three done. Actually four....if I consider it a working vacation ;-)!

It's a.......

......crash....and not a sixer :-)!


Ever felt like giving a vent to your emotions before you explode out of sheer frustration?


Just give a thought to the shore which gets pounded unrelentingly by the surf...day and night.....every single second.


Maybe it's a curse, maybe it's a boon...or maybe it's the rule of nature.


However, one has to say for patience.... of a differnet kind. Rare and forgiving.....