Monday, November 10, 2008

What a complex web we weave

I’ve always wondered what bonds the complicated creatures of mankind namely the women. Is it talking for hours together (especially over the phone), gossiping, giggling over secrets, hoo-haaing over something trivial, ‘discussing’ recipes so on and so forth? Well…... I guess it’s all because I do not seem to possess any of those ‘fine’ qualities. And that alone brands me as an ‘outcast’ :-).

I’ve always been attracted towards intelligence….of any form. I like people who can hold a honest (a slowly dying trait) conversation about any subject under the sun without any prejudice. My girl-friends, even the blogs I follow (on Google Reader :-)...), in one way or the other, reflect the same. True, with time, we have bonded closely on a personal level. However, at the first instance, there’s this spark of honesty and intelligence which has been surefire turn-ons for me :-).

There’s RS whose blogs I read regularly. They are such a fine mix of level-headedness and intelligence that I was completely hooked (a rare feat I assure you). I don’t remember exactly how our correspondence started but it did….and with a bang! We even met up (our offices being close) and have kept in touch for….. (hold your breath) almost an year.

Then there’s NJ who has been a common friend through Jay. SA whom I’ve known since the start of my professional career. KA whom I had never interacted at work but got in touch later. So on and so forth. There has been a trait so compelling, so integral in all these ladies that had reassured me back then, and still continues to….in spite of the distance separating us.

But I have to confess that I am a big failure in forging relationships under force, or if I get nasty feelers from others. And (some) women seem to be so adept in this particular aspect :-|! I can good-humouredly tolerate rebukes. I can forgive taunts treating them as childish behaviour. However, at one point, I simply zonk out not caring about them at all. I marvel at people who can get along with people who spite them in the face. The penultimate peoples' person. Maybe it’s because of want. Maybe it’s because of need. Maybe they are mature beyond their years. The only thing I’ve learnt from such experiences is that each relationship requires a combination honesty, respect and time from both sides to nurture lastingly. A one-sided effort consumes energy and, with passing time, it simply drains away.

To digress, as kids it's so easy to make friends. All you need is a peace-loving play-mate :-). With passing age, developing personalities impede. And finally as adults (hoo-boy...I make it sound like the end of the world!), it becomes so very difficult to forge friendship of the lasting variety, thanks to already formed (and sowed) thoughts and opinions. Common interests are a must to 'keep-in-touch'. And for some, status in the society as well. When was the last time you liked somebody for what they were? And because they brought to the surface a different 'you'.....and a better one at that? If you did, do not let them go.

To all my girl-friends out there, thanks for being such an integral part of my life. I wish I could express how much. I hope that this does.


Art said...

Good one :)
I think women are much more than gossip and the other stuff.. We can surely have a intelligent conversation provided the other person has the capability to take it

Shruthi said...

Whoa! I just complained to you that your blog has been silent for too long, and then open Bloglines to see a new post :D Nice surprise!

And wow, assuming one of them is me, thanks for the lovely words! :D

And yes, I know just what you are talking about.

Chitra said...

Oh yes! I like gossiping too...but yup, the comfort level matters a lot.

Teeee heeeee ! Suuurrrpppprrriiiise! Okie okie...swalpa over aayithu. The blog had been silent for too long. So thought that I would 'spice' it up a bit (and check if I still have any readers left :P).

ray said...


I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be very good.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘My Space’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)


chitra said...


yesterday one of my friend called up, read your blog thinking it 's mine aand she just couldnt relate it with me.

Nice to have u bk in the blogsphere and yes thanks hoping that I am one of your girl (lady ) friends and not some one with whom u have to forge relationships .

Endevourme said...

attracted to intelligence? i heard somewhere opposite poles attract hehe just kidding...:D
true for me as well!
but doesnt real honesty and intelligence go hand in hand? i think they do.

Chitra said...

Tee hee ! That's what happens when we share the same first name :D!

What's real honesty and intelligence? In the struggle for survival, one's forced to fake them :-(

Endevourme said...

hmmm...i beg to put a coupla lines from Atlas Shrugged-
"You're wrong. You must never feel afraid of people in that way. You must never think that their existence is a reflection on yours—yet that's what you're thinking."
and here's a link of the same, someone put it on blog too-
sory for the long comment :D

Chitra said...

Hey...that's good! BTW, like long comments as long as they are meaningful :-)