A 'timely' gift

As a youngster, the only days I paid some attention to was my friends’ birthdays, and even though I was pretty hopeless in remembering the exact dates, I never passed up the opportunity of presenting them with a greeting card and a hand-made one at that! Most of the ideas I made use of were from store-bought cards, presented to me by my friends. Some had glittery designs, some vibrant colors, while others had a colorful appendage which spread out when one opened the card.



Call me old-fashioned, but however imperfect it may be, there’s something heart-warming about a hand-made gift. A greeting card, a note, a cake, a cassette ooops….now it’s a CD containing favourite songs, a hand-painted garment, beaded bracelets…..you name it! Each occasion was marked with a sense of surprise and wonder; surprise because someone remembered that special day, and wonder because the person attempted to give me something which he/she made with some effort, keeping my likes and dislikes in mind, and with the obvious intention to please. Makes one feel special and cherished indeed :-)!



With the passage and lack of time, I succumbed to the pressure and thus, store-bought gifts preceded the hand-made ones. Even with that, I used to scout stores to find something suitable. And I would undertake this ‘expedition’ only when I was interested enough. Else I would ditch going to any b’day party altogether – feigning you-are-my-bestest-friend wasn’t my forte. This was on the ‘giving’ side. On the receiving side, I received some thoughtful gifts. Some included books (my favorite gift of all :-)), while others included personal knick-knacks. On one occasion, one of my friends had bought a lunch-dabba filled with lip-smacking North-Indian snacks. What more could I have wanted! That was one memorable b’day (burp!).



Most of my friends now have married, had kids, and are generally busy with their careers and lives. Though I miss them a lot, I am in touch with them through mails and sometimes calls. We hardly live in the same city, let alone same country to visit and exchange gifts on occasions of b’day or anniversaries. However, these small reminders are all the wishes/gifts I can afford to have. And it cheers me up immensely that they (unlike me) can remember :-).

First things first.....

I had a pretty sheltered upbringing until I joined work. And even then, it was routine life with home, work and weekends :P. Until Edinburgh happened. My first on-site trip was to this city in Scotland, UK. And first things are hard to forget....similar to first love :-)!


I had worked hard for this trip, and was mentally prepared to be away from my family for a couple of months. But nothing could have prepared me for the desolation and self-doubt that plagued me initially. Here I was, all alone, in this foreign land, with no friends (no followers either :-)...), and no one to guide me. And the introvert that I was, I was a bit slow in getting along with my room-mates, LH and BN (the latter replaced later by CN). Since the girls knew each other for a relatively longer period, it was but natural that they bonded together very well. And I, being the fifth wheel (and an older one at that) felt out of sorts, disoriented, home-sick and work-pressurized.


The first week in Edinburgh was a revelation of sorts - never had I encountered a city with a weather as variable as this! As soon as I stepped off the plane, I was hit by an icy blast of cold wind; it was February. My thick jacket was no match for the icy droughts of wind and soon I was shivering lightly. It was only later that one of my (UK) colleagues advised me keep my ears and neck warm - that was the mantra to ward of cold. Pretty soon, thermals, sweater, jacket, topi and a muffler became part of my daily ensemble to anywhere outside our apartment. NB promptly let me know that I looked like a watchman with all that padding!


The intital feeling was homesickness was soon replaced by a sense of adventure and enthusiasm as I started discovering the city. Because of its historic significance, Edinburgh had quite a few tourist attractions. But first, I familiarized myself with the surroundings of my apartment - each street initially looked the same to me. But then again, it was fun getting lost and discovering new routes (as long as I was not hungry!). I roamed the streets, discovering and re-discovering, and reveled in the feeling of independence that any earning, independent woman develops when she's on her own.


It was in Edinburgh that I discovered quite a few things about myself - my through inability to stand the cold weather, my inclination towards bright clothes (sweaters, tops, mufflers, you name it!), my (very fierce) sense of independence, my ability to cook (ahem.....strictly based on the opinion of my room-mates), the travel freak within me, my passion for photography, my sense of adventure, my likes, my dislikes, my social skills (or the lack of it), my learning curve, my professionalism, and my ability to anticipate. I discovered that I was not shy (as I had originally assumed), just an introvert, very much liking to be by myself rather than any forced company. And the latter trait remains pretty much the same till date :-)!


This trip holds a very special place in my heart because it was a major turning point in my life.....one which changed the very outlook of the way I envisaged my future. It opened a door into a world which I had never imagined to be a part of. Thanks to the experience, I developed a sense of direction and a hunch to explore the same. I came in contact with some wonderful people, who influenced me in more than one ways, and some not so wonderful ones, whom I am better off without :-)! It was an eye-opener in more than one way, both about life and people. I learnt to make some tough decisions and not to regret them. After all, better way could you discover other than traveling and unraveling the maze ;-) ?

"To Sir With love"

When I joined my first job, I still had the school-girlish tendency to expect guidance and spoon-feeding. Very quickly, I was ‘taught’ to expect otherwise. I learnt the hard way to anticipate and keep myself abreast of most things. One had to ask in order to learn. Very rarely did people ‘teach’. Still, a few odd things impressed me – words like “You respect my time and I’ll respect yours” by an instructor to a couple of people late for her class, “It’s those small things which can topple your effort. So make sure you tie up those itsy-bitsy loose ends first before focusing on the bigger issues,” by my very sage instructor who trained me during my first job, “A lazy employee is like a family black sheep” by a former project manager.


It’s startling how I remember most the things taught during my school times. Basic concepts of Geometry and Algebra (no Arithmetic though :-(....), how to write essays, how to make primary, secondary and tertiary colours, photosynthesis, plant and animal cells, staple food of North and South India, so on and so forth. However, the memory of my PU and Engineering days are loaded with blanks. And the conclusion I could draw was – either I was very studious during my school-days or the teachers were very diligent in their job. Considering the fact that I was an above average student (ahem-ahem!), the latter conclusion makes more sense.


Most of school life was interspersed with teachers who make the most boring subjects interesting. I still remember my primary school Science teacher who used to conduct experiments in the class in order to demonstrate a few aspects such as gravity, suction, capillary motion etc. I can still recall the excitement with which we used to await his class, and the effortless pin-drop silence that ensued during his experiments. And he did not even have to raise his voice for that :-)!


Then again, there were teachers who were so encouraging (and understanding) about one’s mistakes (at homework or otherwise), that one could only be compelled to learn from the mistakes and perform better. My English teacher was one such gem of a person who never reprimanded a student in rough language, and treated us as responsible kids rather than ‘simply students who had to be taught a lesson”. And so was my Sanskrit teacher who patiently taught us this completely new language of which we had no clue at all. This explains why I still remember the (dreaded) shabdas in Sanskrit :P!


As I progressed to the upper echelons of education, I encountered teachers who taught only for the sake of teaching, who viewed us merely as ‘undisciplined brutes’ and treated us as such, and who cut us to the core in public by their caustic remarks. I can only ponder about my lack of interest in studies – was I so unmotivated by my teachers so as not to understand the subjects, or was it plain disinterest, or were the subjects themselves too ‘heavy’ to be completely understood? My safest bet is that it’s a combination of all three.


It's been quite some time since I've posted something worthwhile. My apologies to my readers :-)! I've been preoccupied by a variety of tasks, incongruously insignificant, yet occupying quality time and adding up to a huge chunk in my day-to-day life. And every reflection-at-the-end-of-the-day leaves me wondering “What on the earth did I do today?” only to be reminded of the sage words of my instructor – small tasks are indeed preoccupying! Truer words were never remembered this often :-)!

And the Oscars go to......

A. R. Rahman for the best song and music for Slumdog Millionaire :-)!

p.s: For more information, google 'Rahman' and 'Oscar' :P.

a.p.s: Slumdog Millionaire walks away all 'O's except the that for Sound Editing ('The Dark Knight' bagged it).

a.p.s: If this cannot break my 'silence', nothing will :D

Stuck for posterity

I recently (read as several months ago) caught up with a classmate of mine in school, having literally bumped into her on a shopping spree.



She shouted over the din “You look positively radiant! Huge change since we last met.”



Out of sheer habit, I couldn’t help processing her compliment. Here I was laden with two big cloth shopping bags (er…not too much of a plastic fan), my purse, umbrella and perspiring enough to solve Bangalore’s water problem. And I looked radiant! Good for me :-)! The next part of the statement mentally teleported me to those times when I was an (un)certified geek (and perhaps still am)! Aaaaarrrrggggh !! Why can’t women pay a straight compliment???



It’s strange how people get stuck on one particular image of yours. And not all are positive……and real.



A classmate of mine had THE looks. I felt that she was smart, intelligent, articulate and what not. I was a huge admirer hers. When I ran into her at a musical show, she came across as a very selfish person. Charming but look-I-simply-don't-have-time-for-conversation-with-lowly-types-like-you type. Was it because she was an epitome of what I wanted to be? What was I thinking back then? Hmmmm......time really does provide you some much-needed perspective.



On a personal front, here’s one: I used to run into a girl who traveled on the same bus as mine. She never used to talk to anyone and was generally unresponsive to anything. All she did was stare outside the window (if seated near one), and not make eye-contact with anyone. Several years later, through a very curious twist, I came to know that she had a stutter and thus, a huge confidence issue. If I had stuck to that image of that cold forbidding girl, I would have lost a good friend.



When I am in my blue moods, I remember only the negatives associated with people. However, when I am positive enough (which is more these days :D), I am benevolent enough to ignore a person’s bitchiness, or not dwell upon it. But to ignore downright a person’s bad behaviour/ pointed insults/ indirect barbs, and to repeatedly forgive anyone……well…..simply put, it takes a great deal of effort. And why would I do that unless the person’s close enough? I’d rather keep a safe and comfortable distance.



Till date, I’ve been in touch with people for their honesty, intelligence and knowledge. And the fact that they tolerate me is an added bonus :-D. The thought of interacting with any one because they could be used in the future…..like………like shares is something I’ve observed in most people, but (thankfully?) not emulated. There have been times when I feel like I should be more street-smart, more like all those (clever?) people around me, do some ‘useful networking’, and lead a generally fruitful life. Right now it’s just a wish borne out of frustration when I allow people to walk all over me!


Perhaps in another ten years or so, or when I get really jaded, whichever happens sooner, I shall change…..for the better…......or worse ;-)! Till then, you are stuck with me ;-)!

I looouuuurrvveee......

.........Gmail Themes! Mine's Graffiti! What's yours?

What a complex web we weave

I’ve always wondered what bonds the complicated creatures of mankind namely the women. Is it talking for hours together (especially over the phone), gossiping, giggling over secrets, hoo-haaing over something trivial, ‘discussing’ recipes so on and so forth? Well…... I guess it’s all because I do not seem to possess any of those ‘fine’ qualities. And that alone brands me as an ‘outcast’ :-).


I’ve always been attracted towards intelligence….of any form. I like people who can hold a honest (a slowly dying trait) conversation about any subject under the sun without any prejudice. My girl-friends, even the blogs I follow (on Google Reader :-)...), in one way or the other, reflect the same. True, with time, we have bonded closely on a personal level. However, at the first instance, there’s this spark of honesty and intelligence which has been surefire turn-ons for me :-).


There’s RS whose blogs I read regularly. They are such a fine mix of level-headedness and intelligence that I was completely hooked (a rare feat I assure you). I don’t remember exactly how our correspondence started but it did….and with a bang! We even met up (our offices being close) and have kept in touch for….. (hold your breath) almost an year.


Then there’s NJ who has been a common friend through Jay. SA whom I’ve known since the start of my professional career. KA whom I had never interacted at work but got in touch later. So on and so forth. There has been a trait so compelling, so integral in all these ladies that had reassured me back then, and still continues to….in spite of the distance separating us.


But I have to confess that I am a big failure in forging relationships under force, or if I get nasty feelers from others. And (some) women seem to be so adept in this particular aspect :-|! I can good-humouredly tolerate rebukes. I can forgive taunts treating them as childish behaviour. However, at one point, I simply zonk out not caring about them at all. I marvel at people who can get along with people who spite them in the face. The penultimate peoples' person. Maybe it’s because of want. Maybe it’s because of need. Maybe they are mature beyond their years. The only thing I’ve learnt from such experiences is that each relationship requires a combination honesty, respect and time from both sides to nurture lastingly. A one-sided effort consumes energy and, with passing time, it simply drains away.


To digress, as kids it's so easy to make friends. All you need is a peace-loving play-mate :-). With passing age, developing personalities impede. And finally as adults (hoo-boy...I make it sound like the end of the world!), it becomes so very difficult to forge friendship of the lasting variety, thanks to already formed (and sowed) thoughts and opinions. Common interests are a must to 'keep-in-touch'. And for some, status in the society as well. When was the last time you liked somebody for what they were? And because they brought to the surface a different 'you'.....and a better one at that? If you did, do not let them go.


To all my girl-friends out there, thanks for being such an integral part of my life. I wish I could express how much. I hope that this does.