Thursday, September 10, 2009

Love and Marriage

Love actually revolves around various couples and the ways they perceive and finally find love…..or something remotely similar. When I sat down to watch this movie, I was not prepared for the intricacy and subtlety of the plot, and of course, the various perceptions of love. At the end, I could have relegated it to another feel-good movie were it not for certain strains of reality and maturity depicted in the movie.

I’ve known love to be a very elusive quality, something very similar to luck. If one needs it, and even wishes for it hard, there’s certainly no genie appearing from the lamp to grant it to you on a platter. At the same time, all I know is if one knows where to find it, one can hold on to it….. forever. And oh, the channels to discover love, so many and varied. Through people, animals, work, a favourite pastime, eating (my personal fav)….. you can add on to the list.

Our very idea of love and romance is so much influenced by movies and books (Mills and Boon anyone?). Love at first sight, the thudding of heart, the shortage breath, and oh….how can I forget the song in the heart (not to mention the song and dance routine around the trees :D)! Makes one go sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. doesn’t they? But(there's always a 'but' at the end of the rainbow) love like this?

I’ve met people who’ve claimed to be influenced by all these factors and….and sometimes more :-). Dreamy eyes, lost expressions, countless hours on phone (make that mobile)…. yesssirraaah…. me see-eth all. It’s at this point where the movie ends with “They happily lived ever after” idea. And it’s at this stage that their hunky-dory world is bombarded with the harsh realities of the world around them. What happens later? Aaaah well…. no-one’s shown it…… yet.

I’ve been asked, discreetly of course, by most people - how is it that you marry a person whom you’ve never known more than a couple of months? And I counter-question – how is it that people get divorced in spite of knowing each other for more than a couple of months, and sometimes years together? Ultimately, marriage is a gamble – you enter this legal contract with the intention of making it work, and not knowing that it does have another door of escape called the dreaded D. And what does love have to do with marriage? Well….. if one can learn what love is through commitment, marriage plays a crucial part. For all those shaking your heads knowingly, you know what I’m talking about.

Sharing every thought under the sun , learning things together, exploring, fighting and making up, getting hurt, laughing loud at silly jokes, enjoying the simple pleasures of life,complementing each other, creating and nurturing the miracle of life, and falling in love all over again.....perhaps this is a form of commitment.....perhaps it's here to stay.....perhaps it's called marriage. The turnaround is complete.


Khushi said...

ah... so nicely put! 100% agree with you :)

Anu said...

Do you mean you gambled and then escaped out with your lover?

and Khushi helped you!!

Chitra said...

Thanku thanku :-)!

Hyuck hyuck! that you stumbled upon the big secret...... ;-) ;-) ;D.......

Anu said...

How did you do that?
I want to learn too.

Anonymous said...

I never thought this is a blog meant for breaking marriages.

Art said...

Well love or arranged, once married except for a few things you have to discover your partner and fall in love all over again :)

It takes both to keep this going and its a rollar coaster ride, but complete fun :)

Chitra said...

Call me...such things cannot be discussed over blogs :P!

Tcha ever did you get that idea???

That's so true about that discovery part! Perceptions change, and most times the quickness with which you adapt to such circumstances keeps you going, and the M word ticking.

Anonymous said...

What else??
How has your erstwhile husband reacted after your escape.

Chaitra said...

Chitra said...

Welll.....have to ask him (yet).

Good article. Still have this question - while most have their notions of love linked to movies, what about those few who don't? What would their perceptions of love be?

CM-Chap said...

Wonderfully written... I sgree with you 100%

Anonymous said...

eating (my personal fav)...

You mean you divorced for the sake of eating. - Just Kidding

Compromise, Marry, Act , Learn, Divorce, Commit ,Counsel .

ViChitra. Why compro at first place?

Solution for deserving Curses ??

Chitra said...

Hey thanks! Long see. What's up?

Regarding eating - et tu, Anontus? :-)

Regarding compromise - this (refer the second addnedum) and this(the third point)

Anonymous said...

Bajji talk
"Well..... firstly I do not know him at all – "

Movie talk
"Turnaround is complete."

My instinctive reaction:
Is it some kind of a mockery of male species to make them wait for modern female realization instigated by menasinakayi bajjis and movies , comforted with software packages.

Chitra said...

HA HA said it!

Anonymous said...


Chitra said...

What what?

Anonymous said...

HA HA said it!

What is "it"??

Chitra said...

Whatever you said :D!


Nurturing new life aaa?
When is it due? tell tell

bhavyashree said...

hey chitti,glad that this post came up in Bangalore Mirror today,very well written,I had always thought this post of yours deserved to be published way back when I read it first time on your blog,maybe you should ask for your dues from the Bangalore Mirror guys ;-)

Chitra said...

Thanks B! I too got the intimation just today. Even before that, I saw this comment and was wondering which post kar ke ! Dues eh?? Hmmmm.... let us see (evil chuckle)!

Smile-san said...

hmm, so there are people who think like that, too! interesting article, I enjoy it =D

Chitra said...

Ha ha...thanks!