Friday, April 04, 2008

If I compare thee.......

I had this thought simmering in my subconscious for quite some time. A vague thought. The spark of happiness when I thought "Hey... here's someone I like". Something very familiar, but could not put my finger on.

I was speaking to AH, who has recently gone through a very rough phase, having lost her seven month baby. Whenever I call her, I try to keep the conversation impersonal, with most topics revolving around some witticism I had witnessed, or my hilarious photo sessions ( I should surely write a post on this :-).......). Something light. Something airy. And the few times the conversations veer to something akin to self-condemnation, I used to veer her back to some silly topic.

The intention was not to get AH involved in any self-pitying mode. It is so very difficult to get out of this mode without anyone's help, and I was not sure I could actually help her out in this case if she had plunged into one of those moods. Why? Because as much as I tried, I could only offer my empathies, but not pity. Because, had I been her, I would have surely detested it!

Nothing but Aham only with respect to others but self as well.

The greatest yardstick to self, in terms of comparison, is nothing but self.

p.s: Profound realization brought about by PA..... :-)!


Edgar Dantas said...

hey nice blog really enjoyed the post you posted i really appreciate it
with regards
edgar dantas

Chitra said...

Thanks !

Anu said...

Sometimes, you know someone is hurt and you want to try to help them out which necessarily need not be in kind. It can be anything from visiting them, to talking to them about good things in life. But the fact is they are very much aware of their predicament, and u trying to help out, results in more self pity and hence more pain. The wounds themselves are strange, even when you try to come out, try to be optimistic and try to balm your wounds, they don't respond. They take their own sweet time to heal. Time is the best healer, and of course, only with person's own efforts. Everybody else can only catalyze the healing to be faster and nothing much apart from that. I guess thats the way we are all made to be.

Endevourme said...

hey....i too do exactly as you did..but...i dont know..i think whatever we do it should convey that we care..i agree with anu too :D

Chitra said...

Yup! Agreed totally with you... indeed you have expressed it so well :-)! But this is one particular example that I have articulated. In reality, there are so many things that we unconsciously compare with ourselves before reacting/responding to the same.

Finally... ! Here's something where we differ ;-)! On a serious note, do glance through my comment to Anu.

Captivator said...

gud snap...apt to depict a loss

Chitra said...