Of impressions and experiences

Are first impressions really the best impressions? Are there something called instincts/sixth sense? If yes, how much do people rely on them today? And how much can people rely on them?

Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink has been an eye-opener in this regard.

The impressions with the aid of which we form relatiohships….sometimes, instantaneously and effortlessly without any visible force ….and sometimes just building up gradually. I wondered about the friends on whom I could rely on and realized there were very few whom I am proud to declare as my thick pals. Why?

I hit on a couple things simultaneously when I pondered about this:

I was less choosy during my youth (oh God.... I am speaking as if it’s a long time ago!). My parameters for friendship were very simple. Someone I could talk with.....and someone who could listen to my non-stop chatter :)!

With passing years......and mounting experience, I added communication, chemistry, comfort and security to the list. And have stuck to it......

My pals have neither the time nor the familiarity to know my for a very long time. Yet, they like me the way I am – sometimes serious, sometimes sarcastic......and most of all silent. They have not been antagonistic towards me......nor have they been publicly critical of my actions. True that I never confide in them most of my thoughts. Yet, they instinctively seem to understand the silence behind it. And have stood unflinching in their support. They know that when I drop them a mail, when I call them, it’s not just for the heck of it, or because I am bored......and the fact that they respect it makes me respect them all the more. And above all, there’s a sense of security in such relationships.....with no pointers to the past.

With every ‘learning’ experience, I have grown wise......but wary..... I have gained patience, but lost something infinitesimal yet elemental......

Until I can trust my instincts.....