Split personality... you bet - I

Every person has a split personality – a public avatar for the world to see and a private persona, known only to that individual and, as per his/her wishes, a few close friends. With respect to myself, I have one more classification to make – a spontaneous Chitra and a practical Chitra. There have been quite some situations which have resulted in a virtual tug-of-war between these two personalities...errr... I mean within myself.

Spontaneous Chitra --> SponChi

Practical Chitra --> PraChi

Buying an expensive cheez:

SponChi: Oh wow!! What a saree, yaar !! I am sure that I will not get this anywhere else. I will buy it.

PraChi: Hogwash! You purchased one just last month. Do you really need this? Besides, just look at the price. You will have to forgo something else to buy this.

SponChi: Oh shut up! You are such a bore. That’s what makes you so un-popular among our peers.

PraChi: So what? It's better than having peers whose thought process does not extend beyond jewellery, boyfriends and beauty-products. At least, I have found some mature friends who like me the way I am.

SponChi: (finally capitulating) Okay okay… you are right (as usual).

Attending a party hosted by some unfavourable personality:

SponChi: Yuck !! She sucks! Remember how she treated us in the college? How can you forget this?

PraChi: It’s not good to judge a person on what she was. People change with time. Isn’t it true in our case? Since we possess a dynamic mind, we should constantly evaluate people. I think we should give her a chance and attend this party.

SponChi: Ya… and you, Mz. Know-it-all, should be knowing that a leopard does not change its spots.

PraChi: You are forgetting that she is a human.

SponChi: This is not the point. I really do not know what she has in store for us. What if she insults us in front of everyone? Do we really have to go to his crummy party??

PraChi: I get the point. But...........should it really affect us?

SponChi: Humph… nothing affects you. But then, you are not as sensitive as me.

PraChi: Sigh…. And you are not as forgiving as me. Okay… you win.

Tackling an AWBIEB (Aunty-who-butts-into-everybody’s-business)

Aunty: Oh wow !! You are all grown up.

SponChi (thought bubble): So have you… horizontally.

PraChi: Yeah !

What else can be a suitable reply? And it’s better to keep it short and sweet.

Aunty: Time has come to find a suitable boy for you.

SponChi (thought bubble): WHAT ?? Kabhi nahin !!

PraChi: Oh Yeah??

Aunty: So, are your parents looking out?

SponChi (thought bubble): Ya…. They are as easy as counting money. One slight problem is that money is not easy to grow.

PraChi: Yeah… sort of.

Aunty: (eyes gleaming) Oh…. is it so? I have this boy – my sister’s husband’s brother’s wife’s sister’s son. I think that he will make a wuuunnnnderrrrful match for you. So, is it okay for you?

SponChi (thought bubble): If you like him so much, why don’t you try yourself?

PraChi: Do you have his horoscope, Aunty? And his photo as well?

Aunty: Arrey beta….I really don’t think it is necessary. And he has already seen you and liked you.

SponChi (thought bubble): Aaaarrrrggggghhhhh!! This is too much for me to handle.

PraChi: (mentally chanting 'short and sweet' ...'short and 'sweet'...)Times have changed, Aunty. It’s the the individuals who have to decide, and not others. So, if you could get me the required details…………….

At this point, Aunty remembered some urgent business and escaped. Both Chi’s heaved a sigh of relief.

Yikes.... this post is proving to be longer than I had imagined. So, until tomorrow..... :)