Thursday, January 05, 2006

Consolation through comparison

CAN Conquer CANcer initiative

I came to know through the Connexions ‘CAN Conquer Contest’ contest through Anu. Though I was enthusiastic to participate in this, I faced one major hurdle – I did not know how to proceed. It seemed shallow to write about cancer patients when I could only try to understand the agony and rejection they are going through.

The previous evening I ran into a friend of mine, Suni, while returning home. Since I had met her after a very long time, I whisked her off for juice and snacks so that we could catch up with each other’s life-histories!

Soon, I was regaling her with some hilarious questions I had been asked regarding my plait (well… it’s about two feet+) when she suddenly grew serious.

Sun: I knew someone who had hair has long as yours. Her name's Adi.I used to meet her during one of my morning walks. A very friendly person indeed.

Me: Used to? You do not meet her any more?

Suni: (with a pause) That’s the story. I had to go onsite for the past couple of months and hence I missed her marriage which was scheduled last month. I enquired about her when I met her Mother last week during my morning walk. To my surprise, tears welled up in her eyes and pointing to the lady beside her, she asked me if I could recognize her.

To my utter shock, it was Adi! But what a drastic change! She was wearing a cap around her balding head and was reduced a mere shadow of her former self! The vivacious face now bore a vacant expression and I doubt that she even recognized me!! Her Mom was all praise for Adi’s husband who wed her in spite of stiff opposition. He is now looking after her treatment and all the expenses involved. And all I could do was console her. I never felt so helpless!

Me (consoling her): Ya….. if one has the emotional support, one can overcome the biggest hurdle. Thank God for her husband!

Suni: She was all bones, Chits. And you should have seen people staring at her as if she’s a show-piece ! It made me mad. But what could I do?

Me: Humph… people are people! One should learn to live along with them. Howz her treatment coming along?

Suni: Fine. She is a very brave person and has recovered enough to regain her mental strength. Sometimes, she does get bothered about comments passed by various people, or if children run away from her in fright. But then, her husband always encourages her to think about the positive side of life.

We soon drifted to some other topics and after some time, parted ways.

But I kept pondering – the issues I faced were nothing when compared to those faced by Adi. And
not all were lucky to have support like Adi did.

Sometimes, consolation is brought about by comparison.


Anurama said...

Hats off to Adi's husband

ABiasForAction said...

you do reflect well on the soft topics. What I really appreciate that you understand the nuances and sublimal feelings. Thats a gift.
Keep it up.

Jay said...

A neighbour of mine who faced a similar issue. She lost her hearing and slowly she was getting fragile. After two months of this trauma, just a few days back ..............she departed.

chitra said...

Yup !!

Wow... thanks Anirban! I am honoured !

Death, in this case, is so slow and painful. This is the worst part :(!

donthecat said...

Thanks Chitra, for supporting the CCC initiative. We heartily appreciate your contribution to the cause..

We will all pray for Adi's recovery and well-being.

Jyothika said...

hmm, as usual, thought provoking...but a request-can u stop making it so serious!This blog must definitely be an outlet for you-so,well!

Jyothika said...

but as you know, not always-no consolation by comparison for the unlucky people.

chitra said...

-/donthecat issues.

Whaddya mean?? Everyone has a right to be serious at least once in their life :) :) !! But ya... will blog some hilarious incidents as well !

-/Jo person is born unlucky. Sometimes, it's all in the mind :) !!

Vikram said...

Wow, that was a touching post. I think the husband is doing a great job. I'm a little shocked to leave a better comment. Even though I don't know you or your friend personally.

ritzkini said...

I suggest you read the autobiography of Lance Armstrong,7-time Tour De france winner...
"It's not about the bike,My journey back to life.."
eye-opener to me ! and to many others...diagonosed with cancer,treated and came back to win his 7th yellow jersey this year...a true tale of spirit !

chitra said...

Thanks Vikram. I am honoured.

Yup... one of my bus-mates suggested it. Will read that macha, as soon as I get a copy :) !

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