Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Thoughtful or insensitive?

This blog is dedicated to the sweet person to whom the mail was sent.

Hey AS,

Had to share this with you.....

I met one of my bus-mates after a long time. As we invariably got around to chatting, I commented that she was looking a bit off-colour. And pat came the response in hushed tones - "I am expecting". Immediately I was reminded of you and the umpteen hurdles that you had faced during your pregnancy - the long-winding stairs, the long route from the bus-stop to our building, uncontrollable food-cravings , (the much dreaded) morning sickness, crazy mood-swings, work-pressure, constant tiredness......and the list goes on.

Good manners tooketh over (amazing that I have any ,na?) and I congratulated her.
I told her all the silly, and sometimes personal, questions which people would ask her, like [Pssst.... those in brackets are my answers]:

  • When did this happen? [ WHAT?? ]
  • When is the due-date? [ Why? Are you going to help me with the delivery? ]
  • You must eat well. [ Whaddya mean? ]
  • Take good care of yourself. [ Of course, I always do. ]
  • Morning sickness must be awful, right? [ Want a demo? ]
  • How many months along now? [ Yaarrrgggghhhh...... why do you want to know?]
  • You know what happened to my cousin’s second sister-in-law’s neice . . (and so goes the details of child-birth) [ Stop ! You are actually scaring me !]
  • You do not look as if you are pregnant. [You dumbo, I do not have to prove myself to you!]
  • Is it a boy or a girl? [It's a secret :).]
  • How about the next one? [Arrey... pehle yeh term to finish kar lene de !]
  • Oh... I didn't know that you were married ! [Nooo.... I am not. I am not even engaged, you see.]

AS, I remember one of our batch-mates asking you the last question when you were about six months pregnant !

I had her in splits by the time I recited them to her. She admitted that she did feel irritated on hearing this free-for-all-advice, but she had not choice but to node her head sagely.
Seriously AS, do people know what a huge responsibility motherhood is? The travails of the mom-to-be during everyday life? If not for you, I too would have been one among the ignorant lot. Not that I have gained a PhD in this area but at least, I am mindful of not subjecting them to this questionnaire-nightmare :)!

Whaddya think, AS ;)?



Anurama said...

wow.....I am honoured.

the following are few more to add to ur list of questions: you have decided on the baby's name? (this question was asked when I was 6 months pregnant and I was having one of my usual morning sickness sessions....grrrrrr...) u r preggy? [preggy... huh!]

Oh Chitra, you made me to re-live those wonderful moments... ha ha ha.. thanks da.

chitra said...

You are always welcome ;).

ABiasForAction said...

Redundancies are part of life. People ask those questions to show concern and warmth.But is there a better way, sign languague perhaps.

On the second thought, I can bet a million bucks that a preganant women expects and welcomes those questions at least in the first few months or when she is expecting the first time..Because this gives a her a chance to talk about herself.

The emotional beings we are...

chitra said...

I ones I knew definitely didn't :). But surely there is a better way of transcending the 'personal' boundary.

ABiasForAction said...

Lets not argue because the sample spaces might be different.When can we expect your next post so that it can be commented on.

ritzkini said...

one more addition to the list..probably the first one !
"who is the father ?? this time ???"

divya said...

hmmm......quite a list..:-)
btw u have a nice blog....

chitra said...

Have already posted one!

Hey....entha question maaraaya?? AsTe keLdhavara gathi gotha !!

Thanks Divya!