Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The next destructive emotion.....

Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.”


The previous couple of weeks were a roller-coaster in the sense that it consisted of highs and lows in such a fashion that it did resolve some things plaguing my mind for quite some time while at the same time left me with quite some questions to answer. Confused? No more than me......


It’s aptly said that only two things can make a person totally lose control – anger and intoxication. And I have to keep chanting to myself – no person or situation is worth losing your temper. Yet.....yet......


I had major tiffs with Bhopu, Gadha and Mia.... and then went on to attend Aki’s wedding. And I am glad to say that I am still on talking terms with all of them. Gadha was on the receiving end of one long dressing-down from my side. Throw in logic, reasoning and cold anger and I can be a figure to reckon with. However, with respect to Bhopu, I have to confess that the mistake was mine. I had to take some drastic measures to bring him back to reality and if it was at the cost of our friendship, so be it. Fortunately, he did see the light at the end of the tunnel – thank God for small mercies. Unfortunately, as an after-effect, Mia was angry (well...that's an understatement)– can’t really blame him for that.


I believe that it’s not worth getting angry over something as inconsequential as traffic jams. Distractions help.....they really do. As for me, I plug in my headphones (Anu ki jai), read some book or just observe the scene outside. During one such traffic jam, when I had discarded my head-phones in disgust ("Kaanta Laga" during a jam is not my cup of tea) and the light was too poor for a book, I chanced to see pair of parrots fussing about their young ones on near-by tree. I could only wonder...what a life in the middle of mayhem.


Regarding people...... I rarely am angry but when I am, it takes a loooonnnggg time for me to cool down. 'Coz most of the time, it's directed at myself for allowing myself to get hurt and invariably end up in tears. Psst....can't help remembering K's funda -
“Nobody is worth crying and the one who is, will not make you cry”. But I realise I am digressing. Unlike Mia, who does not believe in expressing his anger [and who says that he was angry a few days ago, not now though, but is downright sarcastic when he does get angry (confusing right?)], I am quite direct in this particular aspect, however 'small' the issue is. Even a snowball the size of a pebble can cause an avalanche, and I wish to eliminate it at the snowball level.


Right now, listening to the songs of gangster and enjoying the sight of the drizzle outside, the events in the past seem like a dream.....or should I say nightmare? Music has this rare effect of dulling the sharp edges of pain.......the healing touch.


“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

And I am not wise...just human.....just another human.......

26 comments:

Shruthi said...

Good girl.. good that you realized all that you realized :D
Anger hurts the angry person the most :)
Channagi bardidya.

chitra said...

-/Shruthi
Tanku tanku !! However if you have noticed, the first and and the last statements are contradictory....

Phoenix said...

smile sweety:)
life is too short to lose temper

Viky said...

I always wonder why people get angry?

Frustration, Irritation, Road-rage is all ok, when do you define something as anger.

Yaaro eno maDiddu, andiddu ishTa aglilla, wokay...yaaro kaNDre agdiddoru enadru koridre, kirikiri agodu wokay...adre kopa?

Yella wokay, adre kopa yaake?

Anonymous said...

"Tu hi meri shab hi ...". What a song. Music has this amazing power to calm you down. Coming to anger, I always feel bad after I get mad at someone. That lingering madness is more painful for me than the actual incidents that caused the anger in the first place. So, I try to calm myself down as much as possible. I am getting better, hey, I haven't yelled at my four year old in more than a month. :-) Another way to think about it is, you get mad at someone only if you care for them. So, there it is. Be glad that you care about someone that makes you mad because of what they do. :-)

JK

Jinguchakka said...

It's difficult to control anger. It comes out in other forms, or make one take his anger out on other persons.
And I believe the more you control your anger, the more it destructs you internally. It's better to have a safety valve.

Art said...

Its difficult to control anger.. but sometimes its better to let it out on the person whom u r angry on, rather than hurting an innocent...
Moreover as u mentioned better stop when it is a small snowball...

Anonymous said...

so-called-doDDa: bisi rakta.. bisi rakta.. ;)... nALe ganDa anskoLLo prANige ide appraisals.. :D..

chitra said...

-/Phoenix
Tee hee..ya..I do realise that in my saner moments :) !!

-/JK
Hyuck hyuck...kuch positive batein :)!!

-/Jinguchakka
Hmmmm...reminds me of a volcano waiting to erupt anytime.

-/Art
Yuppu... :D!!

-/so-called-doDDa
Aha...neevu maaDiddu marethu hodraa? I am just following your example doDDa (wink-wink)!!

chitra said...

-/Viky
Yentha maaraaya...Uppi fan o? :D Coming back to your question, check out the comments below to see if you can find the answer...

The Avenger !! said...

hey chitzzz so hows the control your "XYZ..." coming on ?

Its a good step to take and I am glad this post was as honest as all the previous ones have been.

keep writing.

Shruthi said...

Which? My statements? Heh heh.. You said that you realize its not worth getting angry over inconsequential things. So its good you realized that. Then you said that most of the time, your anger is directed towards yourself. That makes you both the angry person, as well as the target of the anger, - and the second statement was for this one - whehter you are angry with others or with yourself, you are the one who is angry - so it hurts you :D
Ok now did I make sense, or is it the case that I understood your reply itself wrong? ;)

chitra said...

-/Sudhir
Er..did not get the question, Sudhir. And ya..thanks!

-/Shruthi
Tee hee...nope..I was referring to the statements in blue in my postu :)!

ritzkini said...

Parrots..
/*I could only wonder...what a life in the middle of mayhem.*/

Panchhi Nadiya pavan ke jhonke..
Koi sarhad na inhe roke..
sarhad insaanon ke liye hai..
socho tumne..aur meiney..kya paaya..insaan hoke..
:)

ritzkini said...

@vikki
:D
yella ok,cool drink yaake !?
Uppi and beer nyapasbitte !!
:D
thanks...

chitra said...

-/Kini
Tee hee...yen haaDu..yen comparisionu...waah waah... maan gaye Kini ko :)!

The Avenger !! said...

well tell you what, I was a 80kg consumate idiot when i joined this office and as of now I am at 70 kgs consumate idiot. I keep getting those What did you do to tone down like this ?? stares and like one of the comments you received, I just smile , nod my head and look skywards

Khushi said...

//A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control

ha ha,
some are wise, but most of us are otherwise ;-) ashte :D

chitra said...

-/Sudhir
Tee hee....phullu dieting aa?

-/Khushi
Bombaat quote :) !! I am wise and otherwise in turns :D!

Shruthi said...

Hee hee... Ok I will just keep my mouth shut :)

chitra said...

-/Shruthi
Ayyo...nahin....I did not mean it otherwise .....!!

The Avenger !! said...

(smiles...)...nods his head ... looks skywards..

Shruthi said...

Chitra, just chill, chill, just chill ;)

chitra said...

-/Sudhir
Hyuck hyuck :D!!

-/Shruthi
(breathing a sigh of relief)...Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! Consider me chilled :)!

Rk said...

Allah ke bande hasde allah ke bande...jo bhi ho kal phir aayegea ....


It is really a long time since I really got angry....and I had realised it just yesterday....My threshold for getting angry is toooooooo high but getting disappointed and feeling helpless is too low. In normal scenarios, helplessness leads to anger, but as I find more often, I am a strange person with my own strange set of equations :D

chitra said...

-/RK
Know what? I can perfectly identify with you :)!