The next destructive emotion.....

“Anger is often more hurtful than the injury that caused it.”

The previous couple of weeks were a roller-coaster in the sense that it consisted of highs and lows in such a fashion that it did resolve some things plaguing my mind for quite some time while at the same time left me with quite some questions to answer. Confused? No more than me......

It’s aptly said that only two things can make a person totally lose control – anger and intoxication. And I have to keep chanting to myself – no person or situation is worth losing your temper. Yet.....yet......

I had major tiffs with Bhopu, Gadha and Mia.... and then went on to attend Aki’s wedding. And I am glad to say that I am still on talking terms with all of them. Gadha was on the receiving end of one long dressing-down from my side. Throw in logic, reasoning and cold anger and I can be a figure to reckon with. However, with respect to Bhopu, I have to confess that the mistake was mine. I had to take some drastic measures to bring him back to reality and if it was at the cost of our friendship, so be it. Fortunately, he did see the light at the end of the tunnel – thank God for small mercies. Unfortunately, as an after-effect, Mia was angry (well...that's an understatement)– can’t really blame him for that.

I believe that it’s not worth getting angry over something as inconsequential as traffic jams. Distractions help.....they really do. As for me, I plug in my headphones (Anu ki jai), read some book or just observe the scene outside. During one such traffic jam, when I had discarded my head-phones in disgust ("Kaanta Laga" during a jam is not my cup of tea) and the light was too poor for a book, I chanced to see pair of parrots fussing about their young ones on near-by tree. I could only wonder...what a life in the middle of mayhem.

Regarding people...... I rarely am angry but when I am, it takes a loooonnnggg time for me to cool down. 'Coz most of the time, it's directed at myself for allowing myself to get hurt and invariably end up in tears. Psst....can't help remembering K's funda - “Nobody is worth crying and the one who is, will not make you cry”. But I realise I am digressing. Unlike Mia, who does not believe in expressing his anger [and who says that he was angry a few days ago, not now though, but is downright sarcastic when he does get angry (confusing right?)], I am quite direct in this particular aspect, however 'small' the issue is. Even a snowball the size of a pebble can cause an avalanche, and I wish to eliminate it at the snowball level.

Right now, listening to the songs of gangster and enjoying the sight of the drizzle outside, the events in the past seem like a dream.....or should I say nightmare? Music has this rare effect of dulling the sharp edges of pain.......the healing touch.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

And I am not wise...just human.....just another human.......