Sunday, April 23, 2006

Men are from Mars.....

“You know what? I think that I have to get involved in an affair before marriage to understand women better.”

I dropped my spoon with a loud thunk. Not that I was offended but it was the second time in a space of 24 hours that I had heard a similar statement.

My reaction: Wow.....profound......thought-provoking......absolutely brilliant, I say.

For all those (dumb) people out there, I AM being sarcastic.

This statement underlines the fundamental difference between most men and women (the key word here is ‘most’). And congratulations in case you identify yourself with this category.....

My say: If (most) men have the urge to 'understand' women through (ahem) affairs, (most) women on the other hand try to understand just one man.....and through marriage (notice the word 'most'?).

It's all a matter of sticking to a commitment; or is it too much of an effort to discover the postive aspects of a relationship?


Update: Thanks for this, Angii :)!


Khushi said...

whoaaaaaa :-O
super o super...
just tell ur profound friends that life is gonna be difficult if they have this funda for everything ;-) ;-)

aknowkneemoose said...

(most) women on the other hand try to understand just one man.....and through marriage


How sure are you?

PS: All ladies, no offence, but just because some dudes are of the kind as mentioned in the post, doesn't mean most dudes are this way.

Similarly, just because some dudettes are as described, doesn't mean most dames are this way.

Just because the weather in Bangalore and Mysore is awesome all year long, doesn't mean all of Karnataka has awesome weather, does it?

Anurama said...

//“You know what? I think that I have to get involved in an affair before marriage to understand women better.”

sheesh... guys n their views... :(

Art said...

hmm... not neccessarily an affair... but its better to know a little bit about the guy/girl...
Wouldnt u want to know a little more about the guy u wnat to marry... After all "we are going to spend our whole life together"...
The undersanding can surely be the continous process.. in marraige.. but before that.. know a little about the guy.. than landing in a mess and then regretting it the whole life...

May be the guy wanted to say the same but said it in a different way.. or may be he meant it :)

aa said...

nice post chitra... :) :)

Anonymous said...

so-called-doDDa: if your friend thinks he can understand women by having an affair before marriage, he will never marry... ;).. ahem.. well, I meant you can never completely undestand a woman .. :P

chitra said...

Oh well....considering the fact that he is going to be married, God save his wife... :)!!

I inserted the word 'most' keeping folks like you in mind :). Post check out maaDi again ...And ya, I am not at all sure because I do not judge the whole of mankind based on one such specimen...or make that two.

I second that ....humph !!

Tee hee one positive way to look at things kaNe. I really liked your perspective.. :)

(evil grin)...tanku tanku :)!

DoDDa, you can never understand any person because to do that, you have to think like that person :O, which is next to impossible. So, next best step, at least try to respect that person. Understanding, or the likes of it, would follow.... what do you say?

angada said...

"an affair before marriage to understand women better"
- that was a bit too harsh on the "men" community. They may be thinking about the former, but I think, they'll find women difficult to understand in any case. It just needs an extra effort for any person to understand another person, and it is this effort that people find it hard to sustain.

Anonymous said...

Guys. :-) What can you say. They just talk. Given a chance, majority of them don't have courage to carry on with their talk. I agree with aknowkneemoose though. You cannot judge whole mankind even though you know...(Oh my gosh expression here)two of this kind specimen. :-)


ritzkini said...

huh ?! and how would i know what i am getting into without getting to know her enuf first ?
"Affair" connotation,may not be what you think..but..totally agree with what whoever made you drop your spoon said..

Anonymous said...

so-called-doDDa: I dont agree that to understand that person, u need to think like that person. Understanding is something like u know what that person will do given a situation or how he/she will react.

"Most" men are easier to understand since they follow logic and are very predictable. "Most" women being fickle minded (I'm having a cover of anonymity here and those blocked words..;).., so its OK) are a bit tougher to understand than men.

Anonymous said...

so-called-doDDa: forgot to mention that respect is needed in all relationships. No escape from that.

chitra said...

"Too harsh on the men community?" Well...I do not take things personally but I DO think that the term 'affair' makes the whole thing look very cheap. If you jump into a relationship with the objective of having an (ahem) affair, it would work out if the person on the other end too is of the same view. But ya, terms like 'comittment' etc just go out of the window....

Tee hee...I know...I know... :)

-/Kini what degree would you like to know her first? And are you sure that there will be a 'yes' from your side after getting to 'know' her? And if 'no', how confident are you of walking away from the whole thing without getting affected?

Ahem...I beg to disagree. I can go on and on about men-women differences. But having good friends (some of the very best, I must admit) among guys as well, I have to confess that the very idea of commitment scares guys :). Why? Well....varing reasons ranging from "not yet settled" to "not interested"...all valid in their own way. I was lucky enough to come across a guy who honestly admitted that he's just not ready for a commitment because he has loads of insecurites to deal with himself, and he did not wish to burden his wife with them.

Mind you, emotions have nothing to do with being logical and being predictible - somethings, for instance love, can happen to the most logical and predictable being on earth. And that includes men as well. Pity that when they are emotional, they do not make themselves understood :). And ya, most women are fickle-minded (If I can call that) because, unlike men, they are not groomed to earn their livelihood. Their decisions will be dependent on various factors. If they listen to their mind, they are termed hard. If not, they are termed 'fickle-minded'.Drop me a mail and I will be glad to elaborate on this.

But coming back to the point - the root cause of this blog - THE statement. It did not go down too well with me because these words were uttered by a that two people whom I had perceived to be sensitive to ..well...ladies' problems. Anyone else, I would not even have bothered...:(

chitra said...

Tee hee...pity people are not as predictible as the weather. Then there would not have been the necessity of getting to 'know' the person at all. Courtship - which is touted as one of the most romantic phases in a relationship - khallaas :D!! But unfortunately, that is not so. So, the next best thing - try to discover the positives :)...and if they are good enough..........:D

The Avenger !! said...


Not another post that tries to take the shape of the "Battle of Haldighat". For all the comments you got tis one aptly surmises my stand.

like one of the commentors said

"All ladies, no offence, but just because some dudes are of the kind as mentioned in the post, doesn't mean most dudes are this way.

Similarly, just because some dudettes are as described, doesn't mean most dames are this way."

On a personal note tht was a dumb comment from your friend no doubt but my question is if it was a girl would you have the same view ? perhaps we can get to see a post on what you "DUDETTES/DAMES" would say if the person on the other side of the coffee table was of the same sex.

No doubts some smartie would come up with sarcastic comments but lets jst all leave that aside for the time being. I am curious to know what your action would be (Biggggg Grin).

Anonymous said...

so-called-doDDa: I'm not an arguing type. But this post is tempting me. So here are some last thoughts on this topic...

hmm... you should have used the word 'Most' while saying "the very idea of commitment scares guys"... :)

Stepping into today's man's shoes, one reason behind the fear of commitment would be that women have changed from their mother's time to their time. She likes to be a lot more independent and does set priorities between career, life, friends and family, usually, in that order. So the life after marriage is not as predictable as their fathers' used to be. (i'm not saying our fathers didn't have problems or women being independent is bad. Just that there is more scope of heartburn after marriage these days than before.) So they may be wanting to play it safe. But getting into an affair just for this purpose is ridiculous.

Agree that person (or two) said things which are inappropriate. But it is possible that they did not mean it also.. :).. i know ppl who say things to just to prove a point or to sound funny.. not that they believe in it. But it did trigger a nice post though.. ;).. so many comments and such big ones too...

chitra said...

Tee I said before, mention the word 'affair' and the whole thing reduces to something cheap. Guy or girl, it does not make any difference.

Hyuck hyuck...never crossed my mind that you were :)! But a healthy discussion always clears up the air :D.

Acutally, you inadvertedly hit the nail in the head in terms of predictibility. Men can concentrate on career, life, family and friends while women are supposed to concentrate on (their) men (and men) alone? How have women coped up in the past with respect to their mens' social life? By trust. Can't the same be asked of men as well?

Times have changed in the sense that both individuals involved have their own space. And access to this space is only through permission, and not by force.

Anonymous said...

so-called-doDDa: :D.. Just as I expected... :)... and my fault to some extent too...

Typed a lot of things here, and deleted since I'm not that good at expressing myself as you are.. :)... So I choose the best way to end the argument.. "You are right in your own way".. :)

And that hyuck is very familiar to me..
I get into this argument with most women I come across. I end up giving an impression of an old fashioned conservative MCP.. I'll hang on.. :D..

chitra said...

-/so-called-doDDa I really have to comment on that?....:D!!

Vikram said...

Wow, that is something...

I think that would be crossing certain boundaries... healthy flirting is OK... but beyond that you would have to commit..

yen heLtiya darling? huh? :D

chitra said...

Ahem...are you referring to me? :D

Guru said...

guys usually try to be funny and say such things. but only a few have the courage to do.
whereas gals are not that expressive. they don't say out even if they have an affair
but it is strange that this guy said that to u...

chitra said...

Sikkha paTTe frustration maraaya...but I do not think that this should be a valid enough excuse :)!

The Avenger !! said...


update update update ur blog ya, i am waiting to read something new. Please pass on the message to shruthi too :-)

chitra said...

Tee hee...sabr ka phal meeTha hota hain bachaa...:)!!

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