Monday, March 06, 2006

A few faint scars

Thanks to this initiative, this post is about eve-teasing. There have been times when I did wonder whether I would be able to address this issue with as much clarity as it is happening around. I hope that this is a right step taken in this direction....

I was familiar with eve-teasing – and every time I used to ignore the sly whispers or the raucous shouts. Unke koi maa behen hoti nahin hain kya - I stopped wondering about that long back when I realised that for some men, women are nothing more than mere ojbects - that too of the use-and-throw variety.I gyuess it is just a mode of sadistic pleasure for them. "Why should I react?" - was my mode of reasoning! But then, it had not yet taken a turn for worse......


AA and I were in the habit of talking long walks in the evening – something which I miss at times (especially the company). Recalling this incident, I can place the time to somewhere around 7:00 at a deserted road in our area. AA and I were walking along this road in deep discussion about some subject when I noticed a lone cyclist cycling leisurely towards us.


I would not have paid him much attention except for the fact that he brushed a bit too close for our comfort. I yelled back at him. To our shock, he wheeled back and came right at us. Before I could even regret what I had done, he pulled my plait hard (enough to bring tears to my eyes) and vanished. AD and I were too stunned to react. Here we were – two young girls – totally helpless and at a loss as to what to do next. Nothing had prepared us for this eventuality.


Needless to say, we seldom frequented that particular stretch after this incident.

Even after so many years, I still remember the sense of guilt - it was my reaction which involved AA in this mess right - and the sense of loathing - how could I allow this to happen?

But there are times, while walking across this stretch, that I wonder – what if I had remained silent, what if he had done something more than just pulling my hair? Would I have remained a mute spectator to the events? Where should I draw the line? And at whose risk?


Never (again) would I pray for a repeat just to seek these answers......


But still some questions remain - react to, respond to or ignore eve-teasing?

13 comments:

Shruthi said...

The million-dollar question. Retaliate and risk the possibility of getting into trouble? Or just ignore and go your way? Retaliation makes you feel on top of the world, but it might not always be safe to do so, especially on a lonely street. I guess this question has no answer.
Good post, btw.

chitra said...

-/Dicey .... and ya tanku tanku Shruthi!

Deepti said...

Agree with shruti .. if it's a lonely street... ignore.. if its not.. and you know you can beat the guy .. react.. and when you react.. react to make the guy so sorry, that he would wish he had never acted smart with any other female!!

chitra said...

-/Deepti
So many pros and cons. Good to see your response Deepti.. :).

Shradha said...

It is difficult deciding what to do when such a thing occurs but u have no reason to feel guilty, if theres anybody who needs to feel guilty its that %$#$@# lecher. I have had to deal with such ppl in crowded streets and buses, in such cases at least one should never ignore.

Thought proviking entry, interesting concept this "Blanknoise project"...

chitra said...

-/Shradha
Yup... I feel that it is a good initiative Shradha!

Vikram said...

Geez! You should have called me da... i would have broken his cycle.. hehe...:P

On a serious note, some guys act really cheap... they think it's manly to tease women on a street... sucks...

chitra said...

-/Vick(s)
Ya... and probably his teeth too :) :) !

blah_blah_blogger said...

I don't have an answer...it may be very heroic to say that one should react but that could even turn things uglier...good post.

chitra said...

-/Blah_blah_blogger
As Shruthi said it is a million dollar question !!

AA said...

Chitra... you have given a vivid picture of what happend that evening in this blog. I could recollect how helpless we felt! Not just this... but I can remember so many more similar incidences that we had to go through because of our habit of talking about stuff while walking on those "memorable" roads! -- Do you remeber the "chain snatching and shirt-button" one? I should say we dared to continue walking on those roads even after all the bad experiences!

Chitra... I miss your company too :(...

chitra said...

-/AA
Yup....and I have to pass that particular point almost every other day :)! Fresh memories kaNe. :) :)

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it! » » »