God gold !!

One of my close friends, Appu, had called me up during the weekend for inviting me to her engagement.Unfortunately, she had a very bad cold, and hence had great difficulty delivering the invitation through phone. And of course, I did not make things easier :).

Translation provided for the aid of readers:

Appu: Ey..ow are you? (Hey.. how are you?)

Me: (very sarcastically) Me? You should be asking your Mom since I happen to speak to her more often than with you.

Appu: (with a loud chuckle): You bill neber chage. (You will never change).

Me: (softening slightly) What response can you expect from a person whom you have seen progressing through various stages of madness?

Appu: (laughing) I bill mizz you ban !! (I will miss you man !!)

Me: (perking my ears up at once) Oho… that’s news. Tell me all about him.

Pssssttt…. Sorry to interrupt you. But I guessed that she is getting married. Sometimes I am not given due credit for the intelligence which I possess ;).

Appu: E ees a sofdware egineer worging in Galifornia. Before you jumb indo gonglusions, led me azzure you thad id is an arranged barriage. E as come down for de egagemend, which bill be held nexd weeg.

(He is a software engineer working in California. Before you jump into conclusions, let me assure you that it is an arranged marriage. He has come down for engagement, which will be held next week.)

Me: Oh….. Galifornia…. Must be the birth-place of Galileo.

Appu: Drad dis gold! Galifornia man… Galifornia. You gnow na… in US?? (Drat this cold! California man… California. You know na… in US??)

Me: You mean California? Why didn’t you tell me properly? I wasted some precious minutes figuring out whether that place exists or not.

Appu: Gome to my engagemend. I bill combensade you proberly for your loss of dime.

(Come to my engagement. I will compensate you properly for your loss of time.)

Me: And how will you do that when my own company is not doing that?

Appu: A bombat banana pladder beal !! (A bombat banana platter meal !!)

Bombat is a slang word in Kannada used for appreciating the good things in life; can be loosely translated as ‘excellent’.

Me: Okay, you have succeeded in enticing me. I will surely come breakfast, lunch and dinner (and as an afterthought added)And ya…. For your engagement as well.

Appu: (laughing hysterically) Arrey… tum kab sudrogi?

Me: Didn’t you know? I firmly believe that the way to anyone’s heart is through their stomach. So, how far have you progressed in your culinary skills?

Appu: Ayyo… kelabeda !! I cannod even old a cadle to you. Mom goes on and on aboud you. If I had nod known you so well, I would ave bee jealous.

(Ayyo… don’t ask !! I cannot even hold a candle to you. Mom goes on and on about you. If I had not known you so well, I would have been jealous.)

Me: Finally, you realized my worth. Better late then never. You can always learn cooking….. now that you have a handsome, fat bakra for your experimentations in the kitchen.

Appu: (indignantly) E ees nod fad. Andsome es ! (He is not fat. Handsome yes!)

I was expecting her to say something in defence of her cooking skills and look what I hear !! Being in love prompts you to say some strange things.

Me: Oho……. Eegale heengidre munde hego… (If this is the case now, what would be the case later on?)

This went on for some time – I simply could not pass up this opportunity of pulling her leg. I was having great fun at her expense but kya kare… control nahi hota. Besides, communication would be scarce after her marriage.

Her parting words were “Baid baid. Ebery dog as ids day.” (Wait wait. Every dog has its day.)

“Hey….you forgod de cads,” was my response.

Truer words were never spoken. So, here I am, subbering from a bery bad gold …. Sniffle …sniffle…. Achooooooooooooooooo!!