Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Made for each other, but how?

Anyone who's born a lady would surely agree with me - we need someone to crib to! After a hard day's work, we need a space to de-stress, to relax, and most of the times, this is the form of a verbal barrage of words to someone. A friend, sibling, Mom, last but not the least the spouse!

Imagine this scene: After a hard day's work, you go back home. No sooner than you unlock the door and cross the threshold, you see your husband sitting in front of the TV, engrossed in a cricket match (inspired by the ICC tournament :P). The sight of your better-half galvanizes you into talking, and mind you, it is not about how happy you are to see him. It is all about your work - bad boss, uncooperative colleagues, hostile work environment, the long hours spent in travel, the general tiredness, so on so forth. Office politics (I can see most of my friends who are working vigorously nodding their heads!). The twist in the story is thus: do you expect hubby dear to switch off the TV and listen to your rant? Or does he continue to watch the TV while you render a laudable imitation of a (much played) record?

The answer is (the background music rising to a crescendo) - there's no right answer! (No no...the crescendo is not deflating!). It depends on the relationship and the individuals involved.

I am no expert in the matter of relationships. However, I have had my fair share of friends to whom I have been an excellent agony aunt (or so I believe!). And yes, I get to listen to a lot of complaints. However, I have had my fair share of confides that have been extremely positive. And listening to the latter makes me think - so such men really exist? How much patience would that man have to listen to a whining wife all the time? Doesn't he have any frustrations of his own? Doesn't he feel that he is on the receiving end of a negative tirade all the time?

Maybe the secret is this - the relationship would have reached a level where the man feels that the positives of wifey outweigh the negatives (and that includes cribbing), and he is ready to believe in her and help her in any way he can. And if that involves being a sounding board, so be it!

You may have heard of the "Made for each other" sentiment. But couples are not random jigzaw puzzles to perfectly fit each other in style and temperament. Although rare, I have seen a few exemplary couples in real life - their love and respect for each other is so apparent that it makes me wonder - how much time did they take to reach this level of understanding on their journey much time did they take to "fit" together? Is it a function of time at all? Or is it personalities? Or is it compromise?

Questions, questions, questions! I hope that time can answer them ;-)!


Art said...

i think its all to do with right place.. right time :)

Amrita said...

its not for nothing that they say marriages are made in heaven right? ;)
couples"fit" in i believe, and with time, the edges get rounded off which makes the fit even better :) :D

Chitra said...

He he!!

Well said Amrita!

Shreya said...

So the first time I read the post with much amusement.. but the second time now, I find it so so relatable. :p

Chitra said...

-/Shreya I can see why!