Tuesday, June 09, 2009

A 'timely' gift

As a youngster, the only days I paid some attention to was my friends’ birthdays, and even though I was pretty hopeless in remembering the exact dates, I never passed up the opportunity of presenting them with a greeting card and a hand-made one at that! Most of the ideas I made use of were from store-bought cards, presented to me by my friends. Some had glittery designs, some vibrant colors, while others had a colorful appendage which spread out when one opened the card.

Call me old-fashioned, but however imperfect it may be, there’s something heart-warming about a hand-made gift. A greeting card, a note, a cake, a cassette ooops….now it’s a CD containing favourite songs, a hand-painted garment, beaded bracelets…..you name it! Each occasion was marked with a sense of surprise and wonder; surprise because someone remembered that special day, and wonder because the person attempted to give me something which he/she made with some effort, keeping my likes and dislikes in mind, and with the obvious intention to please. Makes one feel special and cherished indeed :-)!

With the passage and lack of time, I succumbed to the pressure and thus, store-bought gifts preceded the hand-made ones. Even with that, I used to scout stores to find something suitable. And I would undertake this ‘expedition’ only when I was interested enough. Else I would ditch going to any b’day party altogether – feigning you-are-my-bestest-friend wasn’t my forte. This was on the ‘giving’ side. On the receiving side, I received some thoughtful gifts. Some included books (my favorite gift of all :-)), while others included personal knick-knacks. On one occasion, one of my friends had bought a lunch-dabba filled with lip-smacking North-Indian snacks. What more could I have wanted! That was one memorable b’day (burp!).

Most of my friends now have married, had kids, and are generally busy with their careers and lives. Though I miss them a lot, I am in touch with them through mails and sometimes calls. We hardly live in the same city, let alone same country to visit and exchange gifts on occasions of b’day or anniversaries. However, these small reminders are all the wishes/gifts I can afford to have. And it cheers me up immensely that they (unlike me) can remember :-).


Anonymous said...

I personally prefer a hand made card or a thoughtful gift rather than a fancy, pricey item.

Nice post, made me smile to think that I have one more thing common with you....:)

Anonymous said...

You are a good writer able to bring out the emotional aspects of an event quite well, you should post more often :)

Satish (a.k.a) Bhaashaa said...

For people like me who have no time to buy or make gifts ... just simply say "Naane unakku periya giftu ... adhuku mela vera enna gift venum unakku?" nu sollitu, freeyaa vittuduvom.

Same is the case from my side too, all my friends are married and busy in their own world. We hardly wish each other and put the blame on time and life style etc etc ...

Anonymous said...

When you fail to give one expression/gift to a person who is made for it, never expect to receive it...

Habituate apologising for that's the only thing left..

The philosophy of karma - how beautiful and how tragic...

Why do girls mature only physically early....
Did someone say nature is asymmetric??
How insenstive to grade expression over silence.

CM-Chap said...

I Agree. Nothing like handmade gifts... Somehow they convey that you really care for the person instead of stereo types.

Last week for my preants anniversary I created my own post card (I was the one in the pic..offcourse) with customized words... They loved it better than anytg...

Chitra said...

Tee hee! Same here when I read your posts :-)!

-/Anon 1
Thanks Anon! I have jotted down quite some topics to post about. Have to garner enough time to work on them though.

Translation please :-)! Not that fluent in Tamizh (except a few swear words :-)...).

-/Anon 2
Philosophy of Karma? Profound. Have to think about it though....

Creative side eh? Good! Plus a pic speaks more than words :-).

Anonymous said...

Anon 2 rewriting: I think my last statement is false, of grading silence over expression and rightly pointed as stereotyped by one of comments.

since silence should never express itself... (- a real tortorous statement which cynics , sadists and losers and someone said.. stereotypes continue to associate themselves with.)
if it does,at some point; it becomes hidden expression (sometimes the pain you hide burns like a fire inside and it's wrong to hide just because you don't learn to express it)

So I deeply regret for making that , well , a blunt expression.

Reviewing other statements -

The biggest issue is I knew very few expressions.
By the time I learnt more expressions I found there is no one asking for it.
So my first statement is still valid.

I am learning ways to respond to expressions (probably not meant for me)
but still are capable to break my otherwise silent profile into pieces.
So my second statement of learning to apologise -a form of expression is also fine.

If I learn new expressions and don't express it at proper time, it means I am not giving something which someone else deserves; it's makes me vulnerable to attacks from other hidden expressions which would be non existent earlier.
If I hide something I will feel someone else had also hidden something from me which they may/may not have

So, Karma - what you give is what you get is valid in this context.

I agree 4th and 5th statements (girls and nature) were my hidden expressions and may/may not be wrong..

Sorry for using comment space as My Space... (It is indeed My Space :-) )
I would like to add some views which I recently discovered on your tagline which coincides this discussion

"appearances are deceptive"

dictionary says deception means half truth and half-truths are dangerous

"appearances are dangerous"

Why does someone gift/express someone a danger unknowingly.

I think the problem is with the receiver who self-deceives in not beleiving that the expression is just a sensation!
appearance before eyes (sensation)

The person forgets there are other three psychological factors

appearance in mind (feeling)

appearance in brain (thinking)

appearance in intuition ( ? )

which can be entirely different and doesn't require appearance/expression itself!!
and moreover these are mutually exclusive and opposing functions which structurally form the totality.

Jung theorized that whichever function dominates consciousness its opposite function is repressed and will characterize unconscious behavior.

Sensation of appearance is thus self deceptive expression or a quarter-truth if it dominates and represses other factors. It becomes one's decision either to become conscious/expressive or live unconscious/hidden...

To keep all four factors balanced I think we need to express ourselves for more expressions in return which can negate the deception if any!

I have based these observations on psychoanalysis on wiki under Carl Jung, Psychological Types , Abstraction used in Philosophy,Deception,Deception (in psychological research) and related ones.

My sincere apologies again for blunt expression....

Anu said...

Most of my friends now have married, had kids,......

Are you sure of tenses? or is it Feminism?

Chitra said...

Well....what else can I say but apology accepted!

Aaaaaah! Tenses of course :D!