Thursday, December 14, 2006

What's my mistake?

“I have had men who never make eye-contact – their gaze is fixed somewhere just below your neck. What am I supposed to do when I have to deal with such men professionally?”

“Men board crowded bus just with the intention of having fun and getting away scot-free because in that crowd, there’s very less chance of being caught.”

“Sometimes, you are simply caught unawares. Before you realize what’s happened, he would have brushed against/grabbed your breasts/crotch and fled.”

“I perfer to die rather than face the society.It's not only me but my family as well facing intense humiliation. Is it my fault that I was beautiful? And I was wearing a salwaar-kameez... it was not as if I was indecently dressed.....”

More here at Blank Noise Project.

A moment of voyeuristic pleasure......and a life-time of scars for the victim. Talking, sharing do helps. But how many women, especially victims of heinous crimes such as rape, can overcome that trauma without support? And such men can be as amoral as to target children! Oh......the level up to which ‘intelligent’ human beings have sunk to. Deplorable!

To statements like “I understand......I too have a sister/ wife”, I would like to state – no Gentlemen. You simply don’t understand. You don’t. Just having a sister or a wife does not make understand. It’s very difficult to ‘understand’ that humiliation, that shame that we feel, unless you feel them yourself. And that can happen when you have understood that person. At this point, all we need is your unconditional support. And how many of you can render that?

Every day is such a challenge for women. To work in a harassment-free environment, to travel unmolested, to avoid gender hassles. Oh......I never suspected it’s a Man’s world.

One whole year since this. And yet no action......

Justice delayed is justice denied.........


Anonymous said...

Well as far as gazing is concerned urban girls are not too far behind and it doesn't happen on roads but at very specific places.
And safety and security should be taken for anyone who feels insecure(yeah women and soft men of call centres and IT included).
The rapist is atleast caught is of a little respite here.

Only a healthy man woman relationship coherent with nature can build a society.
Have you ever wondered why such things foster in cities.
And in the name of society people are under misconception of urbanisation and globalisation due to which ill developed urban areas explode with population.
I am of the firm opinion that India how much ever it apes west can never become west.Because in rome u can live like roman and in India you can only live like Indian.People have to know and respect diversity.A lion can live like only a lion and an elephant only as an elephant and a bull like a bull and a fish like a fish.Every one have their own strengths and weakness.

People try to adopt western culture, ape them and such incidents occur.How many westerners have aped us?
People should not fall into whims and fancies of this and shift into cities.
I know people in cities who make private arrangements for travel just to avoid this menace.Now only those can survive in cities with little less hassles.

Cities represent the individualistic culture more so prominent in west where each one lives on his own independent.

Telling all these I still think there are evil forces which have to be evaded.But how will we reach there when we are still swimming in shallowness.The cries of helpless innocent souls always discount our ethics and morals.
There is enough in this world for man's needs but not for his greeds.
And as you said let us all seek unconditional support from Almighty.

Also about D trivia I came to conclusion D is one of your best friend(should be boyfriend I suppose)who has ordered you not to reply, hence I won't dig further as women are naturally bestowed upon to hide secrets very effectively.

Phoenix said...

I so agree.

Di said...

sad and true..u sometimes wish u cud slowly and surely torture all such pervs till they die a sickening death...a bit graphic..but cudnt make it sound any nicer..

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endevourme said...

does D stand for 'decoy'? ;-)

chitra said...

Gazing can happen anywhere Anon....People nowadays are shameless enough to indulge in gazing openly, even letting the lady know that they are leering!

Cities have more of the 'independent' lot' which is why incidents are reported. Women, at least some of them who have support, are brave enough to approach the judicial system for some reprive. The same cannot be said of the rural areas where women are a suppressed and dependent lot. Even if the Panchayat does consist of a woman member, what are the chances of her not being controlled by her husband?

Aping? Yup...that's where we are going awry....when we are not imbibed with the ability to appreciate our own culture, how can we 'embrace' other's?

With me or with Anon? :-)


He he...nope!

Pritika Gupta said...

Well i m for haryana.. place having little respect for women.. I never want to get settle there.. apecially if i had a daughter.. My college was having worst environment.. there was no professionalism there.. healthy teasing no one mind.. but cheap mentatlity of course we mind. We tried taking some action against it.. but when proffesor itself of tht kind then against whom u cud take the action.. n guys actually used to njoy seeing tht gals' suffering.. now if u talk to them most of them say tht they were immature at tht time.. but have they become mature now..
just few days back i was with my friend.. some guys from group were trying to take my photograph.. so he didn't created scene but everytime they tried he use to come in front of their camera.. and this was the same guy who just two days b4 this incident was njoying the snap of misc gal taken by his friend.. making comments.. then if the guys say the understand coz they themselves having sister n wife is waste.. only thing make them mature is when they have daughter.. and at tht time they become extra cautious putting all the restriction on her..

Thenraj said...

I hope women have to take knife and scissors with them, when they come across these kind of harassment they can use it. As law is there to protect them.

Women are not coming out to tell what happened to them as they is also the fear of future. In a statistics in india only 1% or 2% of the total sexual harassment occurs.

chitra said...

Yup...there's always the stigma of the society not accepting them if they come out with the truth...

GuNs said...

All these things are so sickening, I feel like being part of a stupid race when I hear these things. I dont believe any man could go to the extent of raping a woman and killing her just for lust. Its inhuman. I believe a rapist should be given a maximum sentence.

In spite of that, rape is probably the most easy crime to frame a man in. A woman can go and invite a man for consentual sex and then later run out shouting he raped her. Its not uncommon, I know it happened some years ago in my college.

There are women who dont like getting dumped by their boyfriends and then try to get back at them by doing all these things.

Again, all these people, men and women are a minority of the society, a patch of rot on a nice juicy apple. I dont believe criticizing all mankind for rapes is correct. Not all men are rapists and its so stupid to listen to these female rights activists (or whatever they call themselves, most of them are high society bitches themselves). They go out and shout abusing every man they know and saying things like all men are monsters and shit like that. Thats why I said, I believe we are a part of a stupid race. If a man is convicted of rape, punish him - don't punish his mother or sister or brother for it.

I've been to so many places where I've seen girls wearing utterly provocative clothes and I've looked at them but I've never ogled. Thats coz I never thought it fit to do so. Not everyone thinks like that. I believe if a woman dresses provocatively, men should have the liberty to ogle. They should however not have the liberty to do any more than that. You cant wear a thick furry santa-claus dress and walk about in a crowded train station without people looking at you !

I hope the media stops its stupid tirades against men and all these anti-male talkshows and gets down to helping the police track the rapists and punish them.

Oh, and if the government does decide to give a death sentence to rapists, I'll be hoping they also bring in a law that gives death sentences to women who try to frame men for rape and get them hanged.


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