It had been a long time since I had seen NR. So on my way back from lunch I dropped into his cube. He was busy smiling into his monitor. Aah......did not take long to figure out that Cupid was doing his usual rounds. Perching myself on his desk and ignoring his exasperated expression, I peered into the monitor – and thus the mail – and declared, “Nah......the single red-rose would do. You can remove the rest of the flowers.” NR complied muttering something about privacy under his breath.
“Tum kabhi nahi sudrogi kya? Ek dum naak mein dum karti ho. BTW, you are looking good today.” This is NR – the person who manages to curse and praise me all in one breath.
And when it comes to compliments, my behaviour strongly resembles that of a new-born platypus. So, typically I grinned and replied, “I always look good on a Tuesday, NR.” If only I knew how to bat my eye-lashes, I would have done that too :) !
“Hai Raam yeh ladki kab sudregi?” NR threw up his hands in mock surrender making me grin even wider when he suddenly changed tack of the conversation, “Say......you never get tired of grinning, do you? How do you manage, Chits?”
One look at his serious face and I had to mentally switch gears to answer this question, “Well........Everybody has some problems or the other. I do not like to harp on my mine and make the world know that I have several. Most of the time, I’d rather smile and make others smile as well.”
NR was insistent, “But you do tell to someone right?”
This conversation was now making me slightly uncomfortable, “Ya........but it takes time to establish that kind of intimacy.”
Seeing his perplexed expression, I explained, “Remember your initial assessment of me? You thought that I was as obnoxious as anyone could possibly be. What made you change your mind?”
He laughed loudly, “Oh God, how can I forget that? But only after I spent some time working with you that I came to know that you were not at all what I had presumed you to be. But what does this have to do with my question?”
“Everything, my dear NR, everything. If you had continued assuming that I was obnoxious, and if I had continued to think that you were unapproachable” (at this point NR nearly choked) “ we would never have got to this point. When I sensed that you were willing to talk, I too shed that ‘image’ and began to talk. But ya, if you had continued to display the same behaviour as before, I too would have remained aloof. It’s all a matter of give-and-take but not in the materialistic sense.”
NR was eager for more but I had enough of this imparting-gyaan session and escaped as fast as my sprained ankle could make it.
I have most of my friends complaining that I am not verbal enough if I am upset. Aru went as far as saying that he depends on my blog to know my mood! Uncomfortably, I accepted that it was true. But then, I have never been a vocal person, especially if I am sad :( [Kini, oru warning - one more mention of shoulder and I am going to skin you alive !]. It takes a loooonnnnng time for me - depending on the intimacy factor - to open up! So, am I abnormal? Eh?
But the thought lingered in my mind. In fact, thanks to AA, I had been thinking about this since morning -
How much of yourself can you reveal?
Depends on the boundaries.
And who sets these boundaries?
Depends on the individuals involved.
Oh.....so many – first impressions, compatibility, common interests, comfort-level, mutual respect, trust, admiration, vibes, chemistry.......
And most importantly it should work both ways :)!!