When in doldrum....

.......have something nice.....

................like this :P!

TaDaaaaaaaan......

The idea of a photoblog had been in my head for a very long time. Just the effort required to pen it on paper....er.....publish it on web was required. After a few false-starts, I plunged into the details aaaauuunnnnndddddd.... here's the final result. Finally...finally...finally launching my photoblog at http://chitraazclicks.blogspot.com :-D ! Yiiipppeeeeee yippeeeee and yipppeeeee (I simply cannot stop grinning)! As usual (ahem!), comments and suggestions are very welcome.


After all the effort I put into customizing my photos, wordpress turned out to be a damp squib - I found the photo quality to be faded and washed-out. So came back to blogger, and a plethora of extensive research, photoshopping and html tweaks later, and I was yuxtremely satisfied with the final result (do I sound modest here? :P).


I was very intent on launching my photoblog this year. In spite of a few hiccups (a prolonged seige by the flu being the latest), this year has been a very fruitful year so far.Still awaiting the results of something towards which I've been working from a very long time. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best :-)!

This and that

My niece, S, is one precocious little two-year old. She, along with her father (note the order) had graced to have dinner with us. When it was time to say good-bye, she bugged her father to hoist her up. Seeing this, we were unable to resist making fun of her. “Abba S, you are a big girl now. Why can’t you walk by yourself?” Smart kid instantly retorted, “Chappali illa.” Delicate darling that she was, she did not want to walk without her chappals :-)! Needless to say, we were dumbfounded by this response from someone so young!

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I love water bodies. I love clicking water-bodies. I love frolicking in water-bodies. What I don’t love is drowning in them!(Well......for that matter, who does?) PA’s been trying to teach me to swim. For every step (or rather lap) of progress, I hop/swim back two thanks to the fear of drowning. And the pool’s supposed to be only four feet. Sheeeesh! And moi's height being a little more than five feet is hardly any consolation. Double sheeeesssh! Still, the optimist in me tries to make the best of the situation by..... hopping up and down in water! The feeling of being buoyant comes into effect even if the act does make me look like a hoppitty bunny!

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What’s it with crowd dynamics? Everything I suppose. I’ve often observed that most people follow the lead of majority without even the benefit of doubt. There could be two reasons for that - first, one couldn't care less about the topic in question, second, it's easier to adopt or follow a popular opinion rather than pondering in detail about that topic. But what if the opinion is about a person or the character of a person? I find it very interesting how a person's character is ripped to shreds or conversely glorified out of proportion based simply on crowd dynamics. If a majority of people think that a person's up to no good, it's very likely that a newcomer to this group would simply go along with the flow provided he/she does not have any stakes (read as involvement) involved. Wham-bham and there goes everything down the drain. So what if the crowd is mistaken? It's after all only a person's character, right? As long as you don't have to do anything with that person, lage raho......


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There's so much discussion going about the topic of effective communication. Most educational institutions stress upon the right usage of words and their meaning, grammar of sentences, and how effectively one can communicate using the written language. Ironically, I find that people who have absolutely no grasp of the grammatical intonations of English can still manage to communicate effectively not only through calls but by mails as well. How? By simplicity rather than any fanciful bombastic words. How much more direct does "I would need this done by tomorrow morning by 11:00 a.m." sound than "It would be great if you could get this done sometime by tomorrow". Precise, concise and yes, effective. So what if the grammar's a wee bit flawed?

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I am not a 'sweet(s)' person [:P]. I like certain sweets but I can have them in very limited quantities. Two and I would be done, my throat muscles simply refusing to welcome the third. Still, I do find this very appetizing. Don't you? Sssssslllllluuuuurrrp! Stimulate your taste-buds :D!

First things first.....

I had a pretty sheltered upbringing until I joined work. And even then, it was routine life with home, work and weekends :P. Until Edinburgh happened. My first on-site trip was to this city in Scotland, UK. And first things are hard to forget....similar to first love :-)!


I had worked hard for this trip, and was mentally prepared to be away from my family for a couple of months. But nothing could have prepared me for the desolation and self-doubt that plagued me initially. Here I was, all alone, in this foreign land, with no friends (no followers either :-)...), and no one to guide me. And the introvert that I was, I was a bit slow in getting along with my room-mates, LH and BN (the latter replaced later by CN). Since the girls knew each other for a relatively longer period, it was but natural that they bonded together very well. And I, being the fifth wheel (and an older one at that) felt out of sorts, disoriented, home-sick and work-pressurized.


The first week in Edinburgh was a revelation of sorts - never had I encountered a city with a weather as variable as this! As soon as I stepped off the plane, I was hit by an icy blast of cold wind; it was February. My thick jacket was no match for the icy droughts of wind and soon I was shivering lightly. It was only later that one of my (UK) colleagues advised me keep my ears and neck warm - that was the mantra to ward of cold. Pretty soon, thermals, sweater, jacket, topi and a muffler became part of my daily ensemble to anywhere outside our apartment. NB promptly let me know that I looked like a watchman with all that padding!


The intital feeling was homesickness was soon replaced by a sense of adventure and enthusiasm as I started discovering the city. Because of its historic significance, Edinburgh had quite a few tourist attractions. But first, I familiarized myself with the surroundings of my apartment - each street initially looked the same to me. But then again, it was fun getting lost and discovering new routes (as long as I was not hungry!). I roamed the streets, discovering and re-discovering, and reveled in the feeling of independence that any earning, independent woman develops when she's on her own.


It was in Edinburgh that I discovered quite a few things about myself - my through inability to stand the cold weather, my inclination towards bright clothes (sweaters, tops, mufflers, you name it!), my (very fierce) sense of independence, my ability to cook (ahem.....strictly based on the opinion of my room-mates), the travel freak within me, my passion for photography, my sense of adventure, my likes, my dislikes, my social skills (or the lack of it), my learning curve, my professionalism, and my ability to anticipate. I discovered that I was not shy (as I had originally assumed), just an introvert, very much liking to be by myself rather than any forced company. And the latter trait remains pretty much the same till date :-)!


This trip holds a very special place in my heart because it was a major turning point in my life.....one which changed the very outlook of the way I envisaged my future. It opened a door into a world which I had never imagined to be a part of. Thanks to the experience, I developed a sense of direction and a hunch to explore the same. I came in contact with some wonderful people, who influenced me in more than one ways, and some not so wonderful ones, whom I am better off without :-)! It was an eye-opener in more than one way, both about life and people. I learnt to make some tough decisions and not to regret them. After all, better way could you discover other than traveling and unraveling the maze ;-) ?

Snowflake(s)

This is how a snowflake looks like........


And this is what I found on the banks of a lake in summer!


Can anyone dispute the versatility of Mother Nature?

Flash news!

My moment of notoriety ;-)...!

Power play.......

He was the one. Omnipresent and omnipotent. All-pervading and strong.

He would blaze down with all his strength leaving destruction in his wake. Everything alive, everything thriving would be no longer.

He was the very essence of power, intellect, confidence and virility, all rolled into one irresistible package.

He could leave no stone unturned in acquiring what he desired. Many a times, he demanded to be satisfied, no offering too less for him. He was insatiable, asking for more, and getting it nearly all the time.

He had admirers, followers.... devout and faithful. But he preferred to remain untouched by all, favouring to remain aloof…. alone........and free.

Until, he met Megha and was captivated by her dark beauty. His senses reeled every time he encountered her dark doe-like gaze. She was all fire, all thunder, and all sultry siren, beckoning to him with her slender form, and muddling his senses to such an extent so as to make him forget himself. In her company, he was all but a pale shadow of himself, half-heartedly trying to be his blazing former self, but ending up reining in his brute strength just to please her, to indulge her, to preen under her shower of affection.......hoping......hoping that she would reciprocate. But there were times when he showed signs of impatience, and reverted to his former glorious self, albeit for a brief period.

Thus, it was sunny for a whole of five minutes today in Bangalore ;-) :-D!

(Re)Birth.......

I have a penchant for remembering some odd things (apart from noticing the most unusual :-)..... ). Colours, texture, impressions, conversations…….

In one of the summer holidays (I don’t remember exactly which), I had broken my left arm thanks to a sleepy bus driver, and an ensuing bus accident. The doctor to which I was referred made some soothing noises and slowly rotated my elbow to check the extent of the fracture. I duly rendered the yowl expected of me. But till date, what has stayed in my mind is the gentleness with which he treated me…..kind words followed by even kinder actions.

On the contrary, I even remember certain people for their brusqueness which, though expected, always triggers unpleasant memories :(. The most recent is that of my ex-manager, who had actually conveyed to my senior project manager that I was too aloof and did not mingle well among the team. This effectively stalled the promotion due to me. All because I worked my butt off for the project and earned the praise of my clients, instead of maskafying him. Harsh words followed by even harsher actions.

Somehow, I have never been a person of words. Most of the times, I am lost as to how to comfort people. But invariably, I end up comforting them by some means of physical contact – a touch on the arm, a squeeze on the shoulder, a tight hug for close friends. However I rarely give the chance of anybody comforting me because invariably, I end up withdrawing into my shell, analyzing and re-analyzing things and coming to a proper conclusion. Until then, it is one big silent torture….. the search for the elusive answer(s). Sometimes, these thought processes occur like a silent background activity, mingling with the rest of daily duties. And the times when the distraction does become apparent, I fend off all the concerned question with a wave of my hand, a negative shake of the head and a small smile. Perhaps I am too used to dealing with things alone…..or perhaps my expectation of people does not match up to my own standards……perhaps I was used to being laughed at for expressing thus…..or perhaps prior experiences had left their deep mark. I wish I knew the answer.

Lately I have realized that this ‘withdrawal symptom’ of mine affects people close to me….and how! Their concern apparent, some wait patiently till I am my normal self, while others belligerently ask whether I am daft to shoulder everything alone.

I smile. They frown.

Those years of loneliness…..of frustration…..of being scared…..of being ridiculed…..of being ignored……of being rejected. I search for words to explain ….the end result that’s me…..changing yet constant…..friendly yet aloof….and they sound pithy to myself.

Finally, I resort to actions….. because actions, at least in this case, are louder than words.

For a beginning ........

Random thoughts of a busy mind

Ever heard of this “Two parallel lines never meet”. Chitraaz corollary states that “Two things in parallel planes are made to meet by the means of (yuxtremely silly!) comparisons”. Like the way people take in the brilliant hues of a real flower and exclaim, “Is it real? It almost looks plastic.” Geez…! It is almost similar to comparing ghar ka khaana with hotel food. You got my point na?

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I spent five minutes pondering (mind you, not agonizing) over what ear-rings to wear for work today. I had a pair of long shoulder-touching hangings which went extremely well with the dress. However, the ear-rings had “Not for office wear” written all over them! I removed them, contemplated by bare-eared image in the mirror, dug further into the box and came up with a relatively less-lengthpair of earrings.... the one at the yuxtreme left. To my surprise, compliments poured in for the same :-) ! Hmmmm….looks like my tomboy's dying a slow death. And I have mixed feelings regarding the loss……

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This week greeted me with a big pimple sprouting on my left cheekbone…..so big (and ugly) that it caught the attention of most of my female colleagues (oh well…. the males have work to worry about, don’t they?), and got them talking about the myth centered around the origin of pimples. According to them (ahem), I have been ‘blessed’ with a pimple because someone (apparently!) has a crush one me. Please note that it is not vice-versa. All I am hoping (in my free time, of course) is that the crush-bearing person should be a guy….. and a handsome one at that, so that he could have a pimple or two (at my expense) ;-)!

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If a two plus hour movie makes me all fidgety, a two plus hour bus-ride makes me all tired. Throw in lack of light (to read a book) and lack of food, I transmogrify into a angry young woman! To avoid scorching the bus (and thus saving the junta), I picked up sweet corn soup along with a fruit platter on my way back home today. The soup was not that thick. But it was peppery, oniony and corny (forgive the pun!). And hot. So hot that I was worried as to how to prevent it from spilling all over me during the bumpy parts of the ride. Hah.......day one successful. Looking forward to day two……. :-).

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I am at a loss to deal with an issue which I should have given attention long time back (in fact, several years). Thanks to my repeated ignorance, it has now grown to a full-fledged problem, emotional connections complicating it all the more. And I am at a loss how to deal with it. I have cracked my skull open (and spilled my brains all over my work-desk as well....something which I rarely do) but the solution is not at all in sight :-(. It is one of the (few) times I feel like relying on my age-old friends – time.... and hope.

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Could anyone clarify what ‘taken for granted’ means? How easy/difficult it is to take someone for granted? What are the warning signs? And how early/ late does a relationship get affected by this ‘taken for granted’ status?

And they lived happily ever after (?)

There was a time when the man was the sole bread-winner of the family and the woman, in a parallel role, was in charge of the household. There existed a harmonious relationship between the genders with the male not interfering with the matters concerned with the ladies, and vice versa. The family balance and integrity was maintained via amiable discussions and consultations.

And then a revolution was heralded in the form of education. And with slogans of equality ringing around every corner of the street, the girl was considered no less equal to a boy in all respects. The girl was provided the right to lead her life the way she wanted to.

The then woman has evolved into today’s woman – confident, smart and almost in charge of her life. Except in one aspect – marriage.

In today’s much-desired, much touted, high-flying lifestyle, who does not wish their wife to be working? If possessions like a site, a flat, a flashy car, an off-the-rack music system find their way to the personal to-be-achieved list of common man, would it be possible with a lone person toiling away all his life to a supposedly paltry sum of 10 lakhs per annum? Perhaps in around ten years. Perhaps not given the make-it-snappy mantra.

The day begins at around 7:30 a.m. with commuting to work. If you stay near to your office, you are saved. Else, traffic snarls, long journeys would just be another addition to your routine life. Time at work is all consuming with issues, client meetings, meeting deadlines, and surviving politics. Hey…. It is all a part of work right? Next in the list is the journey home. Another dose of traffic and road rage. When you reach home, frazzled and worn-out like a limp doll, all you desire is a hot meal and a warm bed. And that’s where the similarity ends. For a woman, another aspect of personal life just begins with her cooking, cleaning and household chores. Throw in a couple of kids and a demanding husband, the picture is complete.

I personally know a seven-figure-salary-earning lady who wants to quit her job to take care of her kid. She laments that it is hard to get out of the commitments she’s been pushed into. A huge chunk of her salary goes into repaying a home loan. Another part is allocated towards her husband’s sister’s marriage. Yet another part goes towards the beautiful wood-work of their house and their modular kitchen. With all this, she does not get to spend anything on herself, not even Rs. 500. It is ‘family commitments’ all the way!

Another complains that she hardly gets to spend time with her seven month baby. Though in favour of extending her maternity leave, she had to go back to work leaving behind her bawling three-month old because she could not afford to stay even another unpaid month!

Yet another confides that she is no close getting her long-awaited promotion because she is not able to put in the required number of hours at work, which amounts to around ten hours a day depending on the work outsourced by clients in US, including weekends. Why? Because she is seven months pregnant.

You would think that with all this, guys prefer a girl who would stay at home and look after the kids, right? Wrong! Because of the following reasons: the liberated woman wants to prove her worth by pursuing a career of her choice sans family commitments, what’s-the-use-of-your-education-if-you-do-not-work line of thought, and guys themselves prefer working-girls who would be able to amply contribute to the family kitty. Another opportunity at multi-tasking, but not without family-support (and motivation).

So.........where’s the choice?

With assertiveness and personal ambitions spearheading today's woman, however underestimated she is, here's hoping that she emerges strong and independent, juggling jobs with the much-desired support system in place. And, as I look around, I realize that at least a few are lucky enough to have the latter, undoubtedly the key factor.

Wish you all happy Woman's day :-).......!

Call of the wild

We have had one or the other pet as long as I can remember. Initially, we had a couple of dogs. After they grew old and died, we did not pursue the option of having a pet again. Then again, there were stray cats who ended up as pets – paying guests but still retaining a modicum classification as pets :-) !

Our first pet was a cute black-and-white kitten on which I took pity and put some milk. I am still blamed for this act of kindness for the simple reason that we have fourth generation litter of the same cat currently ruling the roost in our house ! We had a variety of kittens – multi-coloured, fluffy-tailed, long-haired (cute furballs :-)…) – some born right in the household (usually a designated maternity dabba) and some born-somewhere-else-but-left-here-for-babysitting-by-their-Moms. And it was the latter type which presented a great challenge for us they were wild and not used to human touch, unlike those bred in the household.

Recently, we have had our cat bring her litter of four kittens to our house. Small, furry, damn cute, fun to watch, but difficult to pet :-|! Any human presence was welcomed by terrible snarls and spitting! But oh, they seemed so very adorable that I was determined to 'win their affections'.

Initially, I used to make myself scarce during their feeding time so that they could eat in peace without any unwelcome human intervention. But with my resolution in place, I started baiting them with food from a safe distance. Oh, they remained watchful… so much that the slightest movement I made sent them scurrying back. Gradually, after the initial days of wariness, they got used to my presence, enough to come close to me for food. And one fine day, they started eating right from my hand! That prompted me to reach out to stroke their soft pelts. After initial (loud) hisses of rejection, slowly, but surely they got used to being touched and petted. They are still wild, still easily frightened by any small noise or movement. But it is heartening to see them come bounding to me, mewing plaintively and rubbing themselves against my legs!

When this particular 'experiment' took nearly two months, the most surprised individual was yours truly! Simply because I never considered myself a paragon of patience! On the contrary, I sometimes sorely felt the lack of it (especially while waiting for company to eat!).

Ah well..... the wild can sometimes be tamed with (tons of?) patience. But the absolutely free.....well......they are a different lot altogether !

Love is......

Sitting through a (entire!) match of cricket just to give him company in spite of not being a fan of the game.

Changing the baby’s (yuxtremely dirty) diaper, thus allowing your partner to catch up on some much needed rest (and beauty sleep, of course).

Surprising her with flowers on reaching home from work even if you don’t give a damn about flowery stuff.

Staying back home to cook his favorites when you could have danced attendance at a kitty party.

Coming home to find dinner ready with all the after-work done......no dirty dishes in the sink, no mess to clean up, and most importantly no immediate-after-work-at-home responsibilities.

Switching off TV when you need to talk something important.

Massaging sore feet in the middle of night just because she’s too far gone to reach her toes, or too tired to care about herself.

Nodding your head sagely at every pause in the (one-way?) conversation even if you don’t understand a word of the prattle.

Finding yourself covered by a warm blanket when you had fallen asleep on the couch during one of those winter nights.

Offering a shoulder to cry when you feel like throwing up your hands in despair yourself.

To feel protective (and possessive) towards that special someone.

A bit of care, a bit of chemistry.

A dash of romance, a measure of practicality.

Some meaningful gestures, some more meaningful silences.

Perhaps..... love is not about one single day, or saying the right words after all......

Mirror, mirror on the wall......

....how many are there in all ? :D

Finally....

......I did it ! Behold..... my very 'own' Flickr Page :-)! Bouquets...... and brickbats welcome!

December mein baarish?

.........................................Proof.........


.......................................and effect :-)

It is absolutely decadent.....

......when you take a day or two off from work to relax at home .....

......like this....

.......and with this......
Athishooooooooooooooooooooo !! Cough-cough!!


If only I was not stuck with this irritating cough and cold jo mere peeche nahi choDte !!


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There is good. And there is bad. Will I sound too old if I ask this - what do they gain by such acts in the name of God.....and freedom? Justification my foot !


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November seems to be a month of functions. Let me see.... I have attended two marriages, two naming ceremonies and one grihapravesha. On the cards are several more marriages and a couple of grihapraveshas. No wonder I am gaining weight! I squarely blame it on these functions, and thus ease my guilty conscience for gorging on baaLe ele ooTa !


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A few snaps which I could never have attempted abroad :-)



































































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Another year gone ! Sigh..... why does time fly so fast I wonder......! Some lessons learnt not to be forgotten in a hurry. Some dreams woven. Some goals etched. Some relationships forged. And some broken........beyond repair. Well......what else can I say but life goes on :-)! Thanks for all the wishes though :-)!


With the fond hope of increasing my Orkut's fan list ;-)..........!

Inspiration.......

When I was in my teens, one of the poems which we had learnt as a part of English poetry was 'Daffodils' by William Wordsworth. At that time, all those years ago, I remember thinking what was so special about this flower that inspired Wordsworth to break into a poem like this. "How dumb"......and the likes of such thoughts had filled my childish mind.


Now, after all these years, the cynical me realises........

If there is something called a paradise....

..........this must be it.

Refreshing avowals

This Monday was too bit too perfect to be a Monday; people who usually suffer from Monday morning blues will get the frequency right and know yugjhaatly what I mean!

Woke up to find that the power authorities had suddenly realised that we had not been plagued by a single power cut for the past x months. So khaachaaak – power cut. No power –> no hot water -> brrrrr -> probable cold -> probable cough -> probable fever -> and the list goes on.

Having dispensed with my ‘bath’, I now turned my attention towards cooking. And realized how difficult it is to even cut vegetables in semi-darkness let alone cook. After lots of unladylike swears (er...did I ever say that I was ladylike?), I managed to get it done somewhat to my satisfaction. Have to find out during lunch if the baaLekaayi was cooked or not.

The bus-driver proved to be yet another sadist – he came a full three minutes early while I was still at the corner. So......whooooooooorrrrr..... marathon run with arms, bags and dabba flapping (do you still need a reason for an earthquake?), aaauuuunnnddd success (at last) ......caught the bus. Got a painful reminder of how little I exercise (On an afterthought, do I really need it?).

My best friend at work - I am referring to my PC here – was feeling quite cross with me (two days of ‘painful’ separation and all) and decided to act all weird. So, two restarts, numerous hang-ups (I mean literal ones) and several disconnected Internet sessions later, I got down to typing an e-mail. Wow...... my patience increaseth by leaps and bounds!

Just when the situation was under control, I made it all the more ‘better’ by stretching out my legs and disconnecting the LAN cable. Great! Simply great ! That’s just what I needed to make my day ! Formed a corollary of one of my life’s fundas – no man or machine or situation is worth losing your temper.

But then, there’s something which stops me from blowing the top.......

The weather outside is simply too glorious to describe........

.........because it had rained the previous night.............